column ........................................... Notes from North Village Lizzie Enfield “I saw him in the North Village the other day,” I Oh, yes. BN1. say to a friend from Hove, or ‘Hove Actually’ or “The North Village?” My friend rolls her eyes. “Is ‘Almost Aldrington Actually,’ depending on your that what you call Fiveways?” point of view or where you hail from. “What? Er… no. It’s the name of a café,” I explain, Everyone seems a bit cagey about exactly where but the damage is done. they live in the city. I know someone who, without She thinks Fiveways residents see themselves as failure, prefaces her address with a faux cough and part of a village. She thinks we think we live in continues with ‘the Slade.’ the equivalent of Greenwich Village, New York. I find the pseudonym and the ‘ahem’ mildly Maybe we do. There are certainly villagey aspects infuriating. Why not just say ‘Portslade?’ But she’s to the area. There are local shops, with signs not alone. Another friend who lives in ‘Ahem, the emphasizing just how local they are, selling local Slade’ always refers to the place as ‘BN47.’ food labelled to emphasize its localness and local Initially, I thought this was more likely to be schools taking local kids. They don’t have visible ‘Ahem, the Mouth’ i.e. Portsmouth. BN47 seemed labels but you can tell - they carry musical instru- too far away from neighboring BN3 to be reached ments and other downright giveaways. in just one more stop on the train. I recognize people, when I see them elsewhere in What happened to 4-46, I wondered? And in the the city, as living locally. time I spent wondering, I conjured up an imagi- “I think I’ve seen you wandering around Five- nary land between ‘Almost Aldrington’ and ‘Ahem, ways,” is a frequent method of introduction. I’m the Slade’ full of magical creatures and mythical a writer. I have to wander around a lot for work beasts that only those with special and have coffee in The North Village (it really is powers could enter. a café). Then someone pointed out And we have residents’ associations and that Hassocks, Lewes etc. Neighborhood Watch schemes and all had BN postcodes probably more than the average and for some reason they number of street parties. Our street sprinkled the numbers even has a rolling dinner party. about a bit before heading Within about two hours of having on down the coast. (And, moved into our house we’d agreed yes, that got me to imagin- to host the cheese course. Correc- ing the anarchist in the Post tion. I’d agreed to host the cheese Office who came up with course. Other half was prowling and that little plan. I bet that growling; “If I’d wanted to move to livened up a dull day in the a village, I’d have moved to a f***ing office…) village”. But where was I? Little did he know…. .... 29....