Holiday Memorial Workshop

HOSPICE OF CNY
PAT H WAY S
November /December 2014 A Path to Living With Your Grief
Families Living Through Holiday Grief
(sometimes the only way through it…is through it)
Susan Bachorik, MA, Bereavement Counselor
How do we live through the Holidays? When someone we love dies, we know that our lives will
never be the same. Our world may be very different and living each day can at times feel
overwhelming, frightening, confusing, sad, lonely and difficult. The thought of living the rest of
our lives this way can feel impossible, especially from Thanksgiving to New Years. Here are some
suggestions.
Resist the Urge to Fast Forward to January 5th. It is tempting and normal to want to hibernate
through the holiday season. However, the
holidays also have moments when joy sneaks
up on us in our grief and breaks through to our
hearts. These moments are precious and help
to restore and uplift.
Connect with Other Grievers. Grief needs an outlet. Those outlets can be
within a family, a friend or circle of friends,
church community or grief support group.
Decide what to do for THIS YEAR ONLY.
You may or may not want to engage in some
traditions. It will be easier if you realize that you
can opt to do things differently next year.
Set Your Own Boundaries.
Do what you need to and take time to think
about what you don’t need to do. Give yourself
permission to say “NO” and also give yourself
permission to say “YES” to those things which
you may enjoy.
Say Your Loved One’s Name on Purpose.
After a person dies…family, friends, colleagues
often stop using his/her name. Be intentional
about saying his/her name. Others will follow
your example. This is a way to remember and
stay connected and honor your loved one.
Nap
Grief takes energy, so we need more rest. A nap
or an early-to-bed night isn’t a luxury. It is a
simple necessity.
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I-SO-LAT-ED in GRIEF
By Joyce Nevola, LMSW
Feeling the pain of isolation, disconnectedness,
estrangement, and abandonment can often
intensify the natural feelings of loneliness
experienced after the death of a loved one.
Lorraine was married for 78 years when her
husband died. Everyone told her that she was
lucky to have him for so long and that she
shouldn’t be sad. She felt totally isolated in her
grief. Henry was 92 when his wife died. He had
never lived alone one day in his life and was
frightened about facing each new day without her. Shakira is single without children and her only
sibling died miles away in another state. Although she had support during the funeral, she came
home to bear the burden of her grief alone. Without having living parents and siblings, she feels
deeply disconnected. Solomon was a widower in his 80’s when his only daughter died. She had
been his caregiver and companion, and in his sorrow, he felt abandoned and lost. At times like this,
it is difficult to reach out to others because it seems like no one will understand.
The answer to isolation is connection. There are people who can understand. There are others who
live your story and your story will echo in their hearts. At the Hospice Grief Center, through group
support, individual counseling, and services of remembrance, isolation can be broken. You can find
renewed hope and companionship for your journey. We want you to know that you are not alone.
GRIEF COUNSELING
SUPPORT
Professional bereavement
counselors are available
by appointment:
Adults
Children
Families
Call 634-2208 to request
services.
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Submitted by Susan Bachorik, MA
Bereavement Counselor
Holiday grief is unpredictable. Holidays are among the most emotionally difficult of times. Holidays
are intended to be a time of great joy, family togetherness and thankfulness. Yet, if someone in your
family has recently died, holidays can evoke extreme sadness, loneliness and emptiness. You may
be all ready to go somewhere or to do something, and suddenly be overwhelmed. Don’t be a slave
to the holiday clock. You can choose to stay home or be with friends and family. Don’t be afraid of
what someone else will say if they see you laughing and having a good time. Laughter is every bit
as important as tears. As hard as it is to believe, you will laugh again.
AND, just because you feel you need to do something different this year, does not mean it is written
in stone. Next year you may want to change it back or still do things another new way. When
people ask, “How are you?” you have the right to tell them how you really feel, not just what they
want to hear. The list is endless.
Just remember to take time to pray, meditate, recharge your spirit and say to yourself…..
It’s Okay. There is no right or wrong way. A revision of Bruce H. Conley’s (The Griever’s Holiday Bill of Rights)
SPOUSAL LOSS GROUP (moving to new day/time)
Beginning November 3rd
Monday: 2:00 – 3:30 pm
No registration required. Open to the community.
Use the Panasci Community Entrance.
If you have any questions, please contact Susan Bachorik @ 634-1113 x209.
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Holiday Memorial Workshop
for Adults and Children
December 2, 2014 6-8 pm
Facilitators: Joyce Nevola, LMSW, Hospice Bereavement Counselor
Sarah Piskor, LMSW, Child & Family Bereavement Counselor
For individuals who are grieving, holidays can often bring more sorrow than joy. Our Holiday
Memorial Workshop provides the opportunity for individuals of any age to draw comfort from
their memories after the death of a loved one.
You can participate in wreath-making, other crafts and companionship.
NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY **** BEGINNERS WELCOME
Please bring small mementos, pictures, reminders of your loved one
to add meaning to your creations.
Register by November 24th at 635-1113 X 208
Should this program need to be cancelled due to weather or other emergency, we will
leave a message to 634-1113 X 307 two hours prior to the event.
The Hospice Grief Center
Hospice of Central New York provides support for Hospice families for 13 months
following the death of their loved one. There is no charge for our services.
Community members are welcomed to attend workshops and drop-in groups at
no charge. Donations are appreciated for community members requesting
individual counseling.
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HEALING HEARTS KIDS AND TEENS CORNER
Creative Ways to Remember at Holiday Time
Sarah Piskor, LMSW
•
Decorate a gift box with lots of bows or ribbon and photos for your special person that
died. Tell how this person was a gift to you (how this person made you feel, how did he or she
support you, what did you learn from this person, or write down a memory). You could also draw a
picture of your special person. On a holiday like Christmas, open this box that was created
and share the thoughts and memories. This will help to include your special person as part of
the holiday.
•
Create a special ornament: Create holiday ornaments for a tree, entryway or wreath
that celebrate your special person. (Make the ornament by cutting circles out of colored felt and
gluing the person’s picture in the middle. Add glitter and string it on a piece of yarn. Or you can buy clear
plastic ornaments at a craft store that pop in half. Fill the ornament with small mementos. You can also
take a plain bulb and write your loved one’s name on it with glue, and just add glitter).
•
Make a family photo collage including the special person that died. Place this collage
amongst the other holiday decorations.
•
Light a candle for your special person at holiday dinner and either pray or say
something nice about them.
•
Create stories or poems about past holiday memories. It might be comforting for you
and family to talk about these poems or stories with hot chocolate.
•
Do chores around the house to earn money for a good cause that can help others and
donate to a charity that your special person liked.
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Hospice of Central New York
990 Seventh North Street
Liverpool, NY 13088
Non-Profit Org.
US Postage Paid
Permit No. 24
Syracuse, NY
Current Resident or
NOTICE
Calendar of Events
November 10th: Holiday Help and Hope Talk -5 - 6:30 pm
Hospice of Central New York
does not discriminate on the
basis of race, ethnicity, color,
sexual orientation or religion.
If you prefer not to receive
Pathways, call 315-634-2208.
December 2nd: Holiday Memorial Workshop – for all ages - 6-8 pm
(details inside)
Articles Inside
Families Living Through Holiday Grief
I-SO-LAT-ED Grief
It’s Okay
Holiday Memorial Workshop
Creative Ways to Remember...
All events are held at
Hospice of CNY
are fully accessible.
To check on cancellations due to
weather or emergency,
call 634-1113 x 307 two hours prior to the event.
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