WESTWARD HO! BULLETIN OF THE ROTARY CLUB OF LISMORE WEST INC VOLUME: 54 NUMBER: 26 JANUARY 29 2015 DINNER NO. 2750 In this Issue: ‘Australia Day Ceremony’ CONGRATULATIONS RAY ON ACHIEVING A NOMINATION FOR THE AUSTRALIA DAY AWARD. A WELL DESERVED ACHIEVEMENT. A large crowd gathered to witness the CITIZENSHIP CEREMONY and the AUSTRALIA DAY AWARDS. MC Gary Murphy General Manager of Lismore City Council kept proceedings rolling efficiently and Mayor Jenny Dowell handled the guests with a friendly, efficient smile. A proud Ian and Pam plus a large contingent of the Campbell’s witnessed their son Clyde delivering a speech as Australia Day Ambassador. SECRETARY’S REPORT January 29 n 29 members (and driver Margaret) had a great night at the Alstonville Showgrounds. John Remynse did his usual excellent job in organising the Wee Barbie and all the tucker for the troops. Russ Cassidy was at his culinary best and cooked steaks to perfection. We all have a much better idea of what will be involved at the Alstonville Rodeo. More news soon. n Lunch for international students on Mon 9 Feb 11.00 to serve food at 12.30 and be gone by 2.00 pm. SCU Rifle Range Rd gardens. Workers are John Remynse, John Egglestone, Ray Chilton, Doc, Ross Hayes, Trevor, Grant, Barry, Fred and Elio. n We need a good mob to help Bowler Bob win the bowls night at ELBC Thurs 12 Feb. Please be there promptly at 5.30 ready to go. Sheet circulating again at meeting 5 Feb. n Norm will be on deck to run the Trivia Night Ladies’ Night on 19 Feb. Mark your calendars and talk to family and friends to make tables of 8. You may choose to come early and get Paul to provide an excellent meal or eat at home and bring nibbles, but whatever you decide you need to be seated ready to display collective brilliance of your general knowledge promptly at 7 pm. Sheet circulating again 5 and 12 Feb n RC Gold Coast has invited us to their New Horizons black tie ball 7 March at Carrara. $150 pp covers 3 course dinner and all drinks. If you are interested tell me and I will send all the info to you. YOU GOTTA LAUGH Two wharfies are unloading a container. One checks a consigment, scratches his head and says,”What’s a cubic foot? His mate frowns then replies, “Dunno. Reckon we can claim compo for it though.” AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE: An Aussie tourist was booking into a pub in Killarney. “Will you have a room with a bath or a shower?” asked the receptionist. The Aussie, considering his budget, asked what was the difference. “Well”, said the receptionist, “With a shower you stand up.” ROSTER FEBRUARY 5TH ( Full Meeting ) WELCOMER: Doc Dorahy GEAR IN & OUT: John Miller / Ian Mulligan 3 MINUTER: Rod Fayle SERGEANT: Russ Cassidy INTRODUCER: NIL GUEST SPEAKER: NIL THANKER: NIL THOUGHT: Ian Hill FEBRUARY 12TH ( Bowls Night ) WELCOMER: NIL GEAR IN & OUT: NIL 3 MINUTER: NIL SERGEANT: NIL INTRODUCER: NIL GUEST SPEAKER: NIL THANKER: NIL THOUGHT: Barry Mason n FEB. INDUCTIONS: Graeme Hargreaves 1-02-1992, Eric Hocking 26-02-2004, John Kim 23-02-2006 n FEBRUARY BIRTHDAYS: Pam Campbell 4th, Russ Cassidy 7th, Bruce Young 7th, Ray Seiffert 18, Judy Chilton 19, Grant Love 24, Graham Shanley 25 n FEBRUARY ANNIVERSARIES: Ken and Jill Larsson 3rd, Bob and Helen Barnes 10th, Ian and Karolyn Mulligan 24th, Ian and Pam Campbell 27th. A SEA OF ACRONYMS As many have probably observed over the years, our Rotary Club has a propensity for Acronyms. Examples: DG, GSE, RC, PP, PDG, RYLA, WPPSS, SCU, PHF and the list goes on. these abbreviations are perhaps meant to save space and spare the number of times the fingers have to tap the keyboard, thereby reducing the risk of wrist injury. For short term members to Rotary, when confronted with this constant barrage of indefinable letters with no explanatory meanings, it becomes a daunting challenge and a large learning curve. As your BE ( Bulletin Editor ), I suggest that members could introduce new 'Additions' to form their own language. This language, once conquered, could save time even when used in general conversation. For example: "G'day" ( G ) or, "Howzit it goin'" ( HIG ), or "Fine Weather" ( FW ). Now your getting the picture ( NYGTP ). Perhaps hand signals accompanying the word would be in order until people became tuned to the new language. A HYPOTHETICAL SCENARIO: Your CP ( CURRENT PRESIDENT ) remarks from the chair that the BE ( BULLETIN EDITOR ) is a mite slow. Now this is a rather risky venture by the CP owing to two things. 1. The BE has the RTR ( RIGHT TO RETALIATE ) and 2: The unwritten law states that The PIMTTT ( THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE TONGUE ) remains in force. Which means that this could then be referred to as TLW ( THE LAST WORD ). Are you getting the picture? Only time will tell. THE LAW OF PROBALITIES 1. MECHANICAL: Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe. 2.VARIATION: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. 3. PROBABILITY: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4. When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!! YOU KNOW YOU’RE GETTING OLD WHEN: 1.In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 2.People call at 9 PM and ask, 'Did I wake you?' 3. You have a party and the neighbours don't even realise it. 4. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 5. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. 6. You can't remember who sent you this list. BE Baz