DRC Newsletter – Winter 2014 - Dispute Resolution Center of

DRC NEWS
Dispute Resolution Center
of Thurston County
312 E 4th Avenue/P. O. Box 6184
Olympia, WA 98507-6184
(360) 956-1155
www.mediatethurston.org
Drumming with Maketa: finding our rhythm as mediators
by Margie Schubert, DRC Staff Member
I
n November, I attended the 5th annual Reconnect, Refine and Rejuvenate
Training, a day-long workshop facilitated by Oriana for anyone who has taken
the 40-hour Professional Meditation Training. It was well attended by about 30
people of all ages and diverse backgrounds. The highlight for me came in the
afternoon when we were joined by Maketa Wilborn, a graphic recording artist
and educator that Oriana had met at the White Privilege Conference in Seattle.
When she met him, she tells me, “He had so much skill and sweetness, I just
wanted to infuse our mediators with that! Cultivating cultural awareness, bringing
in that wisdom and light, it’s our next frontier.”
February 2014,Vol 15, Issue 1
O
empower
people to resolve their
disputes by providing conflict
resolution and mediation serves,
and trains community members
in those skills.
ur mission is to
M
aketa’s drawing skills were phenomenal, and he really got my attention
when we
moved across the
room to experience
“Interactive Rhythm
Entrainment.” There
were thirty djembe
drums arranged
in a circle and we
each sat in a chair
behind a drum and
were encouraged
to explore with our
hands- make some noise. I was instantly wide awake and happy, the vibrations
from the drums coursing through my body. These drums, he explained, were
made in Ghana, West Africa, especially for him- hand carved and covered
in goat skin, each one unique. He taught us some simple rhythms and then
progressed to more complex kinds of call and response. Amidst the drumming,
Maketa explained that the goal of entrainment is to get connected and unified.
“We’re a community of mediators,” he said. “We know where we’re going and
we’re aligned in our passion for this work.” The drumming continued to get
louder, more complex, more in sync. “We learn to be unflappable. We sit at the
mediation table and maintain OUR rhythm, even as the clients come in with their
own.”
W
hat is the intention that you hold when you mediate?” he asked above the
beat of the drums. “Service, community, and betterment,” he called out.
“Not just betterment for yourselves, but for everyone.” We answered with our
hands, pounding out our enthusiasm in unison on the drums. What a joy to look
around the room at all of these people I have known and learned with for so
many years, engaged with our whole bodies and beings in this activity, so unlike
anything else we’d ever done together.
Maketa is a graphic facilitator, educator, and artist
based in Seattle. To learn more about his services,
visit www.maketawilborn.com
Honorary Board
Steve Cooper
Bob Jacobs
Sandy Desner
Greg Miller
Bob Franzen
Dick Nichols
Sen. Karen Fraser
Les Purce
Christine Gregoire
Board of Directors
President:
Terry Teale
Vice President:
Lou Ann Dunlap
Treasurer:
Mike Walsh
Secretary: Dawn Peterson
Charley Barron
Traci Black
Bill Haines
Tamra Marlowe
Stacie-Dee Motoyama, Emeritus
Jennifer Pearson
Hon. Erik Price
Dae Shogren
Jody Suhrbier
Hon. Kalo Wilcox
DRC Staff
Exec. Director: Evan Ferber
Case Mgr:
Sydne Cogburn
Training Mgr:
Oriana Noël Lewis
Asst. Training Mgr:
Margie Schubert
Volunteer Mgr:
Joan Swanson
Development Mgr:
Elaine Vradenburgh
Foreclosure Program
Coords.
Kristine Sogn and Rachel da Silva
Office Hours:
9:00 am – 4:30 p.m.
Monday thru Friday
Page 2
collaborative negotiations:
focus is about, “How do I get my way?” Competitive
negotiators look for ways to manage or control the
events of the negotiation. Competitive negotiators
talk more than they listen.
In my work life outside the
DRC I am lucky because I
get to make presentations
to young professionals just
getting started in their
careers. One of the ‘crucial
conversations’ I encourage
they have with themselves
is about the kind of decision
making they will use in
their career. I encourage
recognizing the difference
between passive and active decision making. The point
I make is that avoiding a hard decision is, in fact, still
making a decision; it is just make a passive decision—
one that usually favors the status quo and one that
implicitly hands decision making authority off to
another person.
Characteristics of Collaborative Negotiations: In
collaborative negotiation, each side brings forward
problems and issues that need to be addressed,
rather than positions. The ‘ask’ is for resolution. The
talk is about the needs and interests of both sides.
Asking questions predominates and the dialog is
about addressing needs through options. Evaluations
are about which options meet the most needs. The
individual’s focus is about, “How do we find our
way forward, together?” Instead of refuting other
points of view, negotiators ask each other why they
like or object to particular solutions. Collaborative
negotiators seek to understand the meaning of the
events in the negotiation. Collaborative negotiators
listen more than they talk.
Another Way to Choose the Kind of
Community You Want
By Mike Fraidenberg, DRC Mediator and Trainer
This same thought occurs to me about how we
negotiate life events in our community. Every day we
engage in negotiations to make agreements that are
trivial (“Hmmm. Pizza or seafood for dinner?”) to large
(“Yikes! You want me to pay how much for that new
car?”). Often, I catch myself making a passive decision
that these negotiations are competitive and that I
cannot change that process. I can choose, however, to
make a different decision—an active decision to create
negotiations that reflect the value of collaboration.
That is, for me, the purpose behind the DRC’s
Collaborative Negotiations course.
Competitive negotiation is when one or both parties’
desire is to win at the expense of the other party. A
collaborative negotiation is where the parties desire,
and work toward, a mutually beneficial outcome. In
a collaborative negotiation there is a shared focus on
the genuine interests of the parties and a desire to
maintain a positive relationship, rather than seeking a
one-time win.
Characteristics of Competitive Negotiations: The
parties bring proposals to each other in the form of
positions. The ‘ask’ is for concessions they want from
the other party. These are solutions to their problem
often with little consideration for the needs of the
other party. Speechifying predominates with dialog
that is about telling and assertions, often stated as
‘fact’. There is an assumption that the other party will
reject your initial proposal so it is common to use the
strategy of exaggerating your position. Evaluations
are about how much “I win…” The individual’s
If you find yourself in a competitive negotiation
consider asking for a different process—one that
invites the other party to collaborate. We do not have
to passively accept that our community is based on
competitive relationships. We can, one negotiation at
a time, make active decisions to build a collaborative
community.
Join us March 26-28 at our next
Collaborative Negotations Training!
Empowering Youth through
conflict resolution training
By Lucy Swenson, DRC Work Study Student
The Youth Ally Group (YAG) is a place where
mediators under the age of 35 come together with
the common goal of creating partnerships between
the DRC and youth and young adults of Thurston
County.YAG originated in 2009 with an enthusiastic
group of young mediators and community members. Its
mission is to enhance youth awareness, accessibility and
involvement to strengthen and ensure the sustainability
of the DRC of Thurston County. Our mission has
helped guide us over the years as we have developed
trainings and fostered relationships.
Page 3
positive results.
To give you a brief snap shot of what YAG has been
up to in the past year and a half, we have completed
trainings at Avanti High School, CHOICE High School,
Voices of Youth Summit, and Community Youth Services,
which have resulted in training up to 150 youth.
Through training we worked on normalizing anger by
teaching students about different conflict styles, and
how to help their friends and parents listen through
using tools like reframing and the 3 golden questions.
After learning these communication skills, students felt
empowered to deal with the uncertainty and emotions
that comes with adolescence. Three students from
our training at Avanti High School went on to take the
40-hour Mediation Training and then joined YAG. As
YAG has built momentum from success and support,
the DRC has recognized YAG’s commitment to the
organization and invited YAG members to join the
Board of Directors.
One such program gaining momentum is Washington
State’s Parenting Sentencing Alternative, which provides
qualifying offenders with a unique opportunity to
parent their minor children at home under intense
community supervision instead of serving time in
prison. As a result of the program’s success, the
Dispute Resolution Center of Thurston County
(DRC) and the Washington State Department of
Corrections (DOC) are now working in collaboration
to provide a meaningful learning experience for
non-violent offenders in Thurston County and some
neighboring counties. The participants involved in this
new collaborative effort are members of Washington
State’s FOSA (Family Offender Sentencing Alternative)
program.
The primary intention of FOSA is to curtail the
cycle of systemic inter-generational incarceration.
For the years to come, I believe that YAG will continue As an alternative to confinement, eligible offenders
to succeed because of the core understanding that
may parent their minor children at home and in
conflict resolution training can make a significant
the community under intense supervision. FOSA
change in the lives of youth. I feel honored to have
participants work closely with their Community
been a part of this group since 2009 and have loved my Correction Officers and identified support persons to
experience as the Coordinator of this group.
successfully address the needs of their children with
the goal of becoming positive and effective parents.
Conflict And Resolution Empowerment Skills (DOC
and DRC C.A.R.E.S.) is a seven-week module course
offering weekly 1.5 hour sessions dedicated to teaching
communication skills to participants from the DOC
sponsored program FOSA .
The DOC and DRC C.A.R.E.S. course offers selfawareness and communication tools which emphasize
promoting healthy family dynamics and creating
positive, productive means for addressing inevitable
DRC Interns Serafina Riegal,
Lucy Swenson and Omar Noman
conflict. With the invaluable efforts and dedication of
Beth Rietema, AJ Sabes, Linda Gaffney, Haley Lowe,
Bonnie Rose,Vicki Martin, Oriana Noël Lewis, myself
DRC C.A.R.E.S: new DRC program
brings self-awareness and communication and others, as well as the collaborative support of
Susie Leavell, program administrator of the Washington
tools to offenders
State Department of Corrections, the DOC and DRC
By Serafina Riegal, DRC Intern
C.A.R.E.S. project was launched as a pilot this fall.
The pilot project generated enough evidence-based
In 2008, according to statistics gathered by the Pew
proof, through statistical analyses, that we are moving
Charitable Trust, 1 out of every 100 adults in the
forward with increased funding from DOC to expand
United States was behind bars. Over the following
the project to Spokane and Clark counties, as well
three years, the U.S. prison population declined. Data
as continue our efforts with the next group of FOSA
released by the federal Bureau of Justice Statistics
members in Thurston County next month! We are
demonstrates that the number of offenders in state
looking forward to furthering the trend of reducing
prisons in the U.S. decreased 2.1 percent during 2012. recidivism and systemic inter-generational incarceration
This trend, although minimal, has continued for a
in Washington State.
variety of reasons. Primarily, the alignment of research,
public opinion, and state successes relating to policy
changes designed to shift resources toward evidencebased alternatives to incarceration are generating
You are a Peacemaker. . . Join Us for Training
March 26-28
May 12-16
Wed 1-5pm; Th & Fri &
8am – 5pm
Mon-Fri 8am-5pm
Collaborative Negotiations
$350/$225 volunteers
40-Hour Professional M ediation
Training
Family Mediation Training
$675
June 12-14
Th, 5pm – 9pm; Fri &
Sat, 8:30am – 5:30pm
Oct 9-11 &
16-18
Th, 5pm – 9pm; Fri &
Sat, 8:30am – 5:30pm
Fri 9am-4:30pm
40-Hour Professional M ediation
Training
$675
Reconnect, Refine, Rejuvenate:
Revisit Mediator Essentials
November 13-15
Th, 5pm – 9pm; Fri &
Sat, 8:30am – 5:30pm
Family Mediation Training
$90/$45 DRC mediators who
have mediated less than 6 cases
last year/Free DRC mediators
who have mediated 6 or more
cases last year
$$350/$175 volunteers
December 3-5
Wed 1-5pm; Th & Fri &
8am – 5pm
Multi-Party Mediation Training
$350/$175 volunteers
November 7
$350/$175 volunteers
To register or for more info. visit our website at www.mediatethurston.org or call (360) 956-1155. Custom
trainings designed specifically for your agency or organization’s needs also available!
Limited scholarships and payment plans are available, as well as group discounts.
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Drumming with Maketa
Collaborative Negotiations
Empowering Youth
DRC C.A.R.E.S.
In This Issue
Be the first with the news and reduce our costs
by reading this online. Email evradenburgh@
mediatethurston.org or call (360) 956-1155
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P. O. Box 6184
Olympia, WA 98507-6184
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