Spectrum is Detroit Country Day School’s literary magazine organized by Spectrum club members. As such, our goal is to represent the student body through creative writing. This annual issue is the culmination of both club members’ and non-club members’ work. As a club, Spectrum offers student writers the opportunity to write, edit, or ponder poetry once a week every Tuesday. We also have an insert in the school newspaper. An important aspect of the club is the encouraging environment for students to produce their writing. Students explore the artistic process of writing with the aid of staffers, the review of their writing, and the pride of published work. Editors-in-Chief: Lydia Wang and Rachel Clephane Associate Editors: Claire Wang, Jiwon Yun, Maggie Chen Design Editor: Lydia Wang Editorial Board: Lydia Wang Rachel Clephane Claire Wang Jiwon Yun Maggie Chen Mina Lee Faculty Advisor: Mrs. Beverly Hannett-Price Submissions are accepted year-round and can be sent to staffers and the faculty advisor Mrs. Hannett-Price by dropping off hard copies in room 130 or by emailing work to BPrice@dcds. edu. We accept all types of creative and non-fictional writing. “Seasons” cover art by Lydia Wang Cover Font: Papyrus Paper: Card stock Artwork: Watercolor by Lydia Wang Edited on Adobe Photoshop CS5.1 Typography Title page: Papyrus Table of Contents: Tempus Sans ITC Headlines: Imprint MT Shadow Body: Imprint MT Shadow By-lines: Tempus Sans ITC Credits: Tempus Sans ITC Design Program: Adobe InDesign CS5.5 Paper Stock Copy paper Photography Ms. Susan Lucas Spectrum Literary Magazine Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning. - Maya Angelou Detroit Country Day School 22305 West Thirteen Mile Road Beverly Hills, MI 48025-4435 Headmaster: Mr. Glen Shilling Upper School Director: Mr. Tim Bearden Phone: 248-646-7717 Website: www.dcds.edu Volume No. 44 “Sunflower Girl” page art by Lydia Wang TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION Seasons [theme] “To Be True“ Lydia Wang & Rachel Clephane 1 2 SPRING Spring Section Introduction 3 “A Common Odyssey” Mina Lee “An Open Letter...” Justin Graffa “Milk Dream” Claire Wang “The Moment” Tara Tang “Garden” Rachel Clephane “Mothers and Daughters” Yara Al-Nouri “My Dog” Justin Graffa “Rolling Down the Hill” Lydia Wang “Someone Else’s” Jema Fregene “Dissolving into the Atmosphere”Mina Lee “Broken” Tara Tang “Cusp of Spring” Jon Scott “Man” Nina Nakkash “Simply” [Excerpt] Tara Tang “To Love Oneself” Nina Nakkash “Love” Lydia Wang 4 5 6 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 16 17 18 20 21 22 TABLE OF CONTENTS SUMMER Summer Section Introduction “That One Time a Jellyfish...” Yara Al-nouri “At Sea” Jon Scott “The Purge” Mina Lee “Sunset” Samina Saifee “The Wooden Chair” Karen Jiang “Eyes” Rachel Clephane “3 A.M. Subtweet” Justin Graffa “The Avenue” Jon Scott “Surrender” Tara Tang “A Valuable Life Lesson Learned” Katherine Kim “The Sirens” Karen Jiang “Fire Dance” Lydia Wang and Mina Lee “Transfixed” [Excerpt] Mina Lee “Just Some Hot Air” Justin Graffa “Far from Insignificant” Nina Nakkash “And the Chandelier Falls” Samina Saifee “Misunderstanding” Lydia Wang “Boy, I Love the South!” Jon Scott “A Poet’s Task” Dominique Nikolaidis 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 32 33 34 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 44 45 TABLE OF CONTENTS AUTUMN Autumn Section Introduction “Anticipation” “Just to Exist” “Forever” “Lindy” “The Play” “In Ocean of My Subconscious” “Fall” “Slam Poetry” “Cursed” “A Color of Coal” “Reality” “The Storm” “Dark” “Storm” “Alabaster” “To Eradic-” “Stepping into Greatness” “Wasted” “Mother and Son” “Digestion” “Alone” “The Fire” 46 Maggie Chen Nina Nakkash Samina Saifee Claire Wang Justin Graffa Nina Nakkash Rachel Clephane Justin Graffa Tara Tang Claire Wang Maggie Chen Samina Saifee Rachel Clephane Tara Tang Claire Wang Sara Dassanayake Chris Jackson Jema Fregene Tara Tang Claire Wang Kone Bowman Lydia Wang 47 48 49 50 52 54 55 56 57 58 60 61 62 63 64 66 68 70 71 72 74 75 TABLE OF CONTENTS WINTER Winter Section Introduction “Reality” “Black Leaf Spots” “Foreign Familiarity” “A Closed Rose” “Let Us Meet Again” “Anatomy of Love” “Crimson” “Schism of Life” “Untitled” “Indefinite Space” “Lotus Flakes” “Asleep in Wax Dreams” “Sweet Thunderstorm” “Silence” “Ice Princess” Letters from the Staff Credits 76 Jon Scott Sara Dassanayake Tara Tang Rachel Clephane Nina Nakkash Lydia Wang Maggie Chen Mina Lee Justin Graffa Lydia Wang Karen Jiang Claire Wang Maggie Chen Lydia Wang Jiwon Yun 77 78 80 81 82 83 84 86 87 88 90 91 92 93 94 96 99 PICTURE CREDITS Lydia Wang Taema Brinjikji Tyler Jackson Bobby DePollo Rachel Clephane Halie Conyers Marah Brinjikji Emily Herard Abby Fisher Halie Conyers Sreesha Sivakumar Angela Lee Harout Wartesian Josie Teachout Neha Nayak Darrel Davison Leanna Schulte Marilyn Smith Darrel Davison Shayna Mehta Hannah Hansen Henry Fu Jessica Thomas Emily Herard Neha Nayak Bobby DePollo Hannah Hansen Sonali Prasad Hannah Hansen Bhavna Guduguntla Sydney Shanbrom Hannah Hansen Phil Kovalev Keegan Haines Marilyn Smith Neha Nayak Angela Lee Hannah Hansen Becky McGeorge Hannah Hansen Katie Mansour Kayla Lee Emily Herard Marilyn Smith Austin Santangelo Helena Chen Darrel Davison Darrel Davison Austin Santangelo Austin Santangelo Helena Chen Maddie Friedman Halie Conyers cover 4 5 7 9 11 13 15 16 17 19 20 24 25 26 27 29 31 32 35 37 39 43 44 45 48 49 53 55 56 57 59 60 62 65 67 70 73 74 75 77 79 80 81 82 83 85 86 87 89 90 94 95 SEASONS Seasons, the theme of this 2014 Spectrum issue, are a natural cycle in this world. Most may experience the seasons cycle from refreshing spring, through sizzling summer, across windy autumn, into silent yet majestic winter. However, depending on where one lives, places exist where there are no seasons, and depending on one’s perspective, a limited number of seasons exist. Seasons are relative. Spring is alive and beautiful after a silent barren winter, and autumn explodes in a farewell finale after an intense and steady summer. Seasons can be a fitting representation of life; sometimes they transition smoothly from one to the next, but there can also be abrupt shifts. Here, we seek to explore the spectrum that exists in the cycle of the four seasons. The spectrum of this issue runs from spring through summer and autumn to winter. 1 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 2 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 TO BE TRUE The darkness of your dreams Surrounds your beam of hope Which attempts to shine feebly through the day Comforts will occasionally sprinkle your soul Threading from humble soil up high, A balloon, worming towards the sky Spraying rivulets of rainbow ribbons. But the size of that dark cloud overtakes this hope metamorphosizing into an oval moon, You push your cheek on your fist and tilt your head your eyes half closed and tired of seeing seeing the crooked life you’ve placed yourself in Replaying the video With characters acting in the shadows Curses in disguise Spoon-fed with ulterior pride. Stairs lead to a painted mural Of heaven’s ajar and beautiful door… Though once you longed for black and white. And no, you don’t want to be caught anymore. You don’t need beauty, the sweet the silk the lies. Lydia Wang and Rachel Clephane 3 ___ SPRING “It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke REBIRTH BEGINNINGS GROWTH RAIN BLOOM REFRESHING BLOSSOM S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 4 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 A COMMON ODYSSEY Embark on a journey dear friend Hold your head up high Never stoop in your worries For that, will only bring you many ends. Maintain face Stand steadfast In the face of all that annoying surplus And plod head Soul pure. “Sea” by Taema Brinjikji Mina Lee AN OPEN LETTER TO THIRTY-YEAR-OLD ME Dear Thirty Year Old Me You are double my age You probably look back on these days and laugh Look at past me, you’ll say How silly and shortsighted I was I’m much wiser now that I am an adult You will say the same thing Perennially until you die Well, you’re closer to death than me So I win a hollow victory You’ve lived more than me But I make the decisions for your life Your life depends on me and what I do A chain of events centering on me How much can you live now Is how much I lived then When everything turns out okay Remember it was me who did it So don’t assume that I am less. “African American” by Tyler Jackson Justin Graffa 5 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 6 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 MILK DREAM I swear, on cold summer nights on Lake Manitoba you can spit arrows from between the gap in your two front teeth and watch the clouds explode like frightened balloons as you catch white lightning between your fingertips cackling and shrieking like young boys that play with tempests, drunk on dragon’s breath and molten hysteria. You can feel sprites and goblins breathing over your shoulder, crunch lemongrass between your teeth and exhale the nebulas of old stars, uttering new life into forgotten souls. I swear this place is our home. Our home, where we tuck ourselves in at night with fiery green curtains stirring beneath our chins and stay up dreaming under dusty streamers with hand-dipped bayberry wax candles whose sleepy flames ripple with the tides. I sit. A peppermint whisper escapes my lips as I dip my palms into pearly depths of shadows that fill my plate. Claire Wang I count… One, Two, 7 ___ Three. Consider the aurora for a moment. Silence. Then I exhale your name in chilled raindrops and at last I emerge from my milk dream. S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 “Sensory Overload” by Puja Nair “Tears” by Bobby DePollo Claire Wang 8 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 THE MOMENT I take a small sip of my Coke, listening to the popping of the bubbles and the low squeak of my gulp. Breathing out with content, a light smile alights my lips as a thin cloud of white escapes from between them and fades into the brisk air. I pull my empty hand out of my jean pocket where it’s been digging, and slowly touch my fingertips together, feeling the coolness as contact is broken. I lift my arm up to the moon, squinting a little. My fingers stretch out and I tilt my head, observing the silhouette of the oddly-shaped structure I call my hand. My eyes focus on the tip of my longest finger, observing every detail as they trail down to the middle of the short length. I bend my fingers a little, watching the small joint. Then my eyes continue down, down to the knuckle and down to the back of my hand. Finally, to the wrist. I hear an imaginary ticking of the clock as the digital numbers of my watch become clear in my vision. I whisper to myself, ignoring the visible small puffs of breath, 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. 0. All the numbers on the display change at once into a 00:00:00. The wind seems to blow a little harder. The air seems to feel a little colder. The moon seems to shine a little brighter. And the world seems to feel a little more beautiful. Tara Tang GARDEN Piles of snow melting away Bare trees ready to start again A green petal sprouts from the ground Followed by another, then another Sun rising to the top surrounded by blue sky Shining over the growing petals As the sun moves across the horizon A flower now sits in the place of what was nothing Bursts of color all around A garden grows “Water Wading” by Marilyn Smith Rachel Clephane 9 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 10 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS when the sun streams in through the stained glass and the light fractals shimmy in a measured pulse I see my mother’s face on the belly of a teaspoon. we stand in the kitchen watching as stories spill out on the table trading time like cards the memories so vibrant, their energy whistles louder than the tea kettle’s staccato there is a grace in what we struggle to bridge she told me once what parents try to give their children: the embodied consciousness of youth memories recollected in flowerpots Sunday morning conversations don’t do much, I know the moment transfixed in this stability and a warm sweetness radiates out. Yara Al-Nouri MY DOG My dog doesn’t know why he’s here He says hello who are you He’s my best friend But doesn’t even know my name He doesn’t know his name Just the sound of my voice It means food and he loves me for my food The safety of the house I give him For no reason at all in his eyes The dog doesn’t know he will die I do I think he will die before me Even if he doesn’t He wouldn’t know the difference My absence means almost nothing to him But his everything is me. “Faded” by Halie Conyers Justin Graffa 11 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 12 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 ROLLING DOWN THE HILL I remember, Our first slide down the steaming slope. Homey soil dabbled at our sweat-cleansed faces and Hill stubble tickled my tender pudgy Fingers clinging onto your cotton T-shirt Suspended In the syrupy air. Hollow ethereal smoke began to whistle and Saltine cracker leaves gilded in your favorite colors Cavorted in the wafts of flaming candles that we bought To share between our earthy souls. Yet I hated those colors Until you told me you loved them. And then the fuzzy white coat of the solitary caterpillar Began to shed, Curling up within its own icy lace as did we Under the bare arms of the hugging tree, Who sieved with dappled shadows the moon dust that glimmered, For a moment But waned in the next. Now the stars are shedding powdery tears Asteroid dust that condenses in My thirsty nostrils And it all begins to run with the first drops down my cheek As I roll down the hill with my grimy face Sinewy fingers slipping from The floating ghost YOU. Lydia Wang 13 ___ SOMEONE ELSE’S I feel green taking over my soul, Circulating throughout, plentiful the air. My heart crumbles at the sight of you And - her in the hallway - together. Tears want to come to my eyes, But I don’t let them show. I simply crack a joke and sigh In the green-blue air around me. Her - I don’t want to be her. Being anyone but myself is … Just simply short of impossible. I wish that I was yours And you were mine. “Blowfish” by Marah Brinjikji Jema Fregene S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 14 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 DISSOLVING INTO THE ATMOSPHERE This was a city in which light had never shed its brilliance for centuries, where people thus never felt sympathy. Somehow, the past, full of violent evil phenomena full of murders, stealing, cheating, betrayals, had completely sapped the world of its former brilliance. The child cried pleading for help Yet the people simply looked past Through the child As if he did not exist. No one dared stoop to the baby “mongrel” For fear of contracting its disease and horrible state. Thus, the child clutched its tattered rags, and drew them about him Shivering, Shuddering, With each shudder Slivers of energy Dissipated into the foul atmosphere about him. Every day, The child grew cold-hearted An ever increasing arch in his brow A flicker of menace growing stronger in his dark-pool eyes. Occasionally, in the silent night, When the bague dark figures of the homeless Would roam about the deserted, musty streets, The child would emit a high-pitched whine. Mina Lee The tragic fall of man from his innocence. Fraught with agony Piercing the night. Suddenly, blurs of sunlight began to leak from the sky Slowly, golden patches of light suffused through the dark Children in homes peeked up from the windows Curiously at this strange phenomenon Having never seen light in their lives A mournful mother of pale complexion Raised her head slowly Towards her window, Her mouth slightly agape, And a tear Rolled down her cheek. “Field” by Emily Herard Mina Lee 15 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 16 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 BROKEN I feel broken. The fragile shards of life that are gathered at my feet. More and more trail behind as I step with cautious feet along the path decorated with harsh, beautiful glass. I look behind and feel lost at the sight of shattered dreams and withered hopes. But I feel overwhelming longing and trek back to the beginning, the beginning of everything. I find resolve as I bend down and extend a shaky hand to the seemingly untouchable colors. Slowly, I wrap thin fingers around dimming and darkening memories. I pick up the pieces of myself. And I feel strong again. “Blue View” by Abby Fisher Tara Tang 17 ___ THE CUSP OF SPRING Winter takes it last fighting swings, Spring descends on long rested wings. Heavy coats are swapped for sleek shirts Plants resume their growth in swift spurts. The colors transfer, cool to warm, The cycle of cold is now torn. The Earth initiates its tilt And the cold air begins to wilt. Languid beings find new vigor. Ice on water begins to wither. The bees are as busy as ever. Their time of rest is now severed. 2 0 1 4 The time indoors is now halved. The inhabitants shout, jump, and laugh. Sweet smells and beautiful sunsets. Spring is arriving, soon to be met. “Glare” by Halie Conyers Jon Scott S P E C T R U M 18 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 MAN He lifts his right hand, Forms a fist, knocks it into another’s cheek, And walks away with a boastful expression. He is Troubled at mind, Weak at heart, Running from troubles, A coward. He is troubled at mind, For he disregards his responsibilities and the rules implanted within this world. He is weak at heart, For he refuses to face his challenges, unable to make himself one Capable of protecting the people most dear to him. He is full of hypocrisy, attempting to hide behind his muscular exterior. One day, When that little boy ceases running, Turns around to face his future, Fights his psychological and spiritual battle, is able to hold his world’s worries on his shoulders, He is a young gentleman. Nina Nakkash When he can apply his battles To the civilized wilderness, And can cherish and shield his loved ones, Then he is a man, Strong in body, mind, and heart. 19 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 “Bob Marley” by Sreesha Sivakumar Nina Nakkash 20 ___ S P E C T R U M SIMPLY [EXCERPT] We leap into each other’s arms, Tears streaming down our cheeks. No words are spoken; What happened to us Doesn’t need to be told to be known The world might be against us, But we have each other. Simply that Is enough. 2 0 1 4 “Puppies” by Angela Lee Tara Tang TO LOVE ONESELF [EXCERPT] Inhaling the lightly fragmented air, my senses are lifted, tranquil, content, blissful. I step back to absorb the full sight. Petal skirts move to wind’s beat, shining under Mother Nature’s sun-kissed rays, flowers bellow and dance in the breeze, filling the air with their light scented sweetness, enjoying what little time they have left before winter. thriving purely, exquisitely, exclusively… I take Nature’s lesson and lock it in my heart. Everyone has something of beauty, a certain splendor, no doubt. I may even have something magnificent about me, too. Perhaps the time has come for me to see the splendor in myself. For it is important To love oneself. Nina Nakkash 21 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 22 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 LOVE It’s the endless hours staring at Spring buds pursing their lips Waiting for the moment they unfurl to kiss the thick fertile air… No. It’s the adrenaline of a fish wagging her tail Fast Faster Faster! Until she tears through the surface tension out the tiny fishbowl Gurgling with mirth into the deep embrace of the vast generous ocean, No… It’s the transparent tints of hand-crafted glassware creeping Stealthily across the white cotton curtains Billowing the rhythm of our breathing, Yours deep Mine hurried and shallow… But it’s more, there’s more! It’s the thick trunk of the old oak tree in my backyard Still growing Its young leaves tickling my cheek as I press it tightly Against the bark and I hug and squeeze and never want to Let it go, It will be forever mine, I tell myself, You forever mine And all this I feel, all this I want All this I dream of, I dream of Opening my arms wide With every secret glance I flicker At you. Lydia Wang 23 ___ SUMMER “Summer has filled her veins with light and her heart is washed with noon.” ― C. Day Lewis HAPPINESS ENERGY MYSTERY FREEDOM TURMOIL CONFIDENCE WARMTH S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 24 ___ S P E C T R U M THAT ONE TIME A JELLYFISH STUNG ME A sting the electrician floats away the victim paralyzed with pain The shot, a shock, vibrates through a left leg Angry welts grip around a red thigh Braised skin reads like Braille 2 0 1 4 “Seahorse” by Harout Wartesian Yara Al-Nouri 25 ___ AT SEA The eternal sway The constant composition Baby blue, navy, and white Always. Forever. Day after day, I remember the docks Sailors and Shipbuilders The moist mahogany wood The commonplace British sailors Intermingled with the French, Dutch, and the occasional Moor. The conversation, the art of the deal Variation. Redundancy is the theme of the ocean. A continual refrain played by an immortal chorus. The rocking rhythm of the abyss, Blue and white the only colors. The same men morning, noon, and night. “Mermaid” by Josie Teachout Jon Scott S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 26 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 THE PURGE Pureness burst through the seam Seeps through translucent flap Streams, sputters, Into a gushing stream And engulfs the frontier Whisking away the animals which graze Which tread Which soar Who fight. Finally. There could be peace. “Indian Dance” by Neha Nayak Mina Lee 27 ___ SUNSET She walked into the sunset, and Shut the door on the rough ends. She turned away from those Calling her name, and those, Whispering it under their breaths. She walked into the sunset, and, Away from all the sorrowful deaths. She turned away from the cheering stands and The rioters calling her out at every simple use of words. She walked into the sunset, and Watched the moon slowly rise, To shine. The water lapsed around Her feet, pulling her in with the tide, As the moonlight went out of her sight. “Inverted Chaos” by Darrel Davison Samina Saifee S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 28 ___ THE WOODEN CHAIR S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 Over skyscrapers, the smoke travels, With haste, they go, They climb onto another mountain side, Colliding with fresh pines of Another species. Unlike Manhattan, Spoleto is a small wooden chair, Where I sit and write Of many fallacies. Every morning, I walk Its narrow, neat streets. Admiring the floral Villas, the steep green Yellow dirty slopes, And the sunflower fields, Veiling beauty In absence. Voices overflow the boutiques lining the alleyway, A viola plays, though faint, Echoing joyful jubiloso notes of Con te Partiro! A little girl dressed in blue, the tinted glass window, the old shop keeper, Stare at an ever more bizarre creature, Shedding its nativity against a corridor. Unlike Roma, Unlike Firenze, The quiet night breeze, Suits me without flaw, Like the many roses encompassing years of bents and dents. Karen Jiang 29 ___ EYES Squinty eyes moving left and right Taking in the glow from the sun Radiating a weaker hue Still stronger than the rest Observing White piles as far as the eye can see Weighing down the arms of pine Suffocating the ground Brisk air swooshing down the path Now unrecognizable Lost in its own direction Eyes twitching Remembering the path. “Eye” by Leanna Schulte Rachel Clephane S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 30 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 3 A.M. SUBTWEET Missed calls from Mom Recents to my ex Even though I deleted her number But it’s hard to forget When you burn a hole in your mind With a cigarette She cried when I answered To my surprise I’m the last one standing I’m the Lord of the Flies Love today is less than 3 It’s down to a science Math equations for what I’m thinking I love you in my phone But never out loud “I love you” saved to drafts Because I don’t like the sound It’s all too much and it’s all too fast Last time I spoke to you was at the party and you were drunk Feelings bottled inside but lately it’s run amok I don’t know how to end this Exactly like our relationship Parting with one last kiss A captain going down with the ship Never could I leave you Gonna love you as much as I can Give you all I got You never leave me either Up to the sky like fireworks Never can I say no Gonna give you everything Justin Graffa 31 ___ LET ME TAKE YOU OUT YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL DOWN SOUTH WE STARTED GOING BUT NEVER COULD I DUMP YOU GONNA GO ALL THE WAY TURN LEFT WHEN I TWIST AROUND TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE AND I WOULD EVEN LOVE YOU IF YOU WERE IN A DESERT DROUGHT UNQUENCHABLE THIRST YOU ARE MY RAIN S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 “Splash” by Marilyn Smith Justin Graffa 32 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 THE AVENUE A unifier, A divider, An ancestor of American Motoring. An All-American Road, An Automotive Heritage Trail, A namesake to the chief, Augustus Woodward, the great judge. A carrier of carriages and cars for centuries, The platform for classic cruising in the summer, And the passageway for commuters year-round. The ground zero of motoring, The birth-place of the assembly line. Decade after decade, A definer of Detroit. “Blind Eyed Angel” by Darrel Davison Jon Scott SURRENDER They’re beautiful. The words flow together and they paint pictures and they prick at my emotions and they whirl in my mind. My head hurts and my eyes cry and my heart breaks but I am still here, reading. I’m reading her words and I’m experiencing them because they are worth experiencing. They are worth feeling. Her anguish is tangible and her fear is relatable, and I am captured. But she says she is giving up. And I am hoping, praying, wishing she doesn’t. She needs help and I just wish I could give it to her. Tara Tang 33 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 34 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 A VALUABLE LIFE LESSON LEARNED In the summer, roses bloom in the backyard of my grandparents’ Georgia home. They turn from frail, timid buds into burning red blossoms in the course of months; the harsh changes of nature change them so. My grandmother reminds me of them. Over the years she has developed such patience and inner strength that no one I know can match her independent spirit. Her husband, my late grandfather, had always been the original caretaker; he fixed her house, managed their finances, and drove his wife to church and the grocery store. However, when his health began to decline, my grandmother could no longer be dependent on him for support. For a few months she seemed to live in an alien world and faced many new and difficult challenges that come with immediate and forced independence, but through those ordeals she has taught me a great deal. It witnessed first-hand how loving a person can be while caring for the people they love and how fortified and emboldened someone’s character can become in the process. Independence sometimes comes at a mental and physical cost. Finding herself now alone in the world without a sole caretaker, my grandmother had to change her lifestyle in a drastic way. I got to see her change over the course of the last summer before my grandfather’s death. She became my grandfather’s eyes when he could no longer see, learned to manage her own finances, and tended to my grandfather’s health needs every hour of the day. The work became non-stop for her as the months progressed, yet with every new hurdle she faced, she grew a little bit stronger and more patient than before. Katherine Kim Love and patience can bloom in the midst of such suffering, sorrow, and difficulty. My grandmother inspired the perseverance in me by her actions during those dark, chaotic days so that, like her, I will be prepared to face whatever changes or hurdles nature throws in my path. 35 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 “Emotion Has No Age” by Shayna Mehta Katherine Kim 36 ___ THE SIRENS S P E C T R U M I press a button. 2 0 1 4 Water springs out of the faucet, Water springs out of the faucet, Through a child’s uncouth mouth. It climbs down the drain, Meeting dreams, A cup of black milk, Spills into Pipe. Racing down the Vortex, Figures emerge, Dancing around a fire, The last of which melts into Absence. Water springs out of the faucet, This time. It comes closer and closer until -- I Find myself dripping Constellations. Karen Jiang FIRE DANCE Tissue paper flame Spark of passion flows through veins Close your eyes and caress the sky Singe away your doubts. 37 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 “Swirl” by Hannah Hansen Lydia Wang and Mina Lee 38 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 TRANSFIXED [EXCERPT] The curtain Heaving Sighing Heaving Sighing At first you recoil Admonishing yourself To seize your busy train of thought And attend to responsibilities Yet… The warm golden pool of sunlight Splashes on the window sill And swells into a pool On the floor Gentle breeze Skirts about The chafed wooden floorboards The brightness and splendor of it all Becomes bored into your eyes Slowly You will yield yourself To your surroundings And let it engulf you Whole. Mina Lee JUST SOME HOT AIR You can’t take a shower and wash off the shame Exfoliate your name, game, flame, and fame Leave when everything goes down the drain And you’re just a naked body in front of steamed up mirrors You can’t see who you are, what you were, and who you will be Because the steam that blocks your eyes is just hot air people blow. “Flying High” by Henry Fu Justin Graffa 39 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 40 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 FAR FROM INSIGNIFICANT Declare me unworthy and unable, ‘til your fractured, bitter heart becomes satisfied. I know who I am. I dare say -I know who you are better than you know yourself. I can see right through your plastic exterior, through your heart’s barriers desperately attempting to cover the only two feelings within your indifferent, emotionless heart: fear and greed. I have a heart rich with emotions, Eyes that clearly define myself, and identify what you are. So call me what you wish, Just know I am far from here, Thinking of the future, Where I do great things any worthy, significant person would be doing because I am small, but I am far from insignificant. Nina Nakkash AND THE CHANDELIER FALLS Enclosed by four walls. No where to go, hiding in this room. She can’t return to the world beneath her feet. She can’t face what she’s always known. She has to find an escape, So she begins to write. Her emotions pour out of her on paper, Her floating thoughts have suddenly become concrete. She hides them away, and returns to them, Every now and then, But she can’t return to the world beneath her feet. She can’t face what she’s always known. The yelling, the screaming, the noises, Continue to bash the fragile walls. It becomes too much, She must leave the room that entraps her. She goes to the world that was beneath her feet, Where her voice is never heard. The chandelier is crumbling, everything, Is coming down. But she remains where she is. She is crushed, by the shards of broken glass, She bleeds out, but no one has anything, Anything at all to heal her wounds. Samina Saifee 41 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 42 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 MISUNDERSTANDING A crack formed between us A nick as we stared at each other, not noticing. I talked to you, you drew away Turning to other things on your side, none of which you shared with me Yet mine straddled the crevice between us I called to you, you replied But your back started waxing with the high tides, Eroding the boggy soil we stood on I watched the sand trickle down, but I pretended the Crevice was still barely noticeable I smiled at you, my smile barely covering my dissolving ruins as your silence prevailed, and I was sinking into the soil. Every day the cycle kept turning until gradually the leap between us wore into a canyon I screamed to you, but your silence and indifference overpowered my echo Reverberating with the beds of fossil ancestors trapped The sand was at my chin, and I let everything of mine Stay on your side But I was sinking, still sinking As the sediment enveloped my nose, I flailed but Something in my head Snapped Suddenly I’m not embedded anymore, I’m standing free, Staring at your miniscule form and I will my soul to fly back to me Lydia Wang I’ve turned my back as well now, walking away strong As the canyon prevails, bigger than ever Filled with your screaming silence. But is this all a misunderstanding? 43 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 “Division” by Jessica Thomas Lydia Wang 44 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 BOY, I LOVE THE SOUTH! Tangled towers of wheat and grass. As relaxing as a sip from an ole pocket flask. The chickens strut and cluck with the usual sass. The men wake up, always prepared for the day’s tasks. A certain gentility Prevailing proclivities Hidden hostilities Yet a place quite capable of tranquility. The home of less traveled routes Interminable hoots and shouts A place of the occasional drought. But boy, I love the South! “Escape” by Emily Herard Jon Scott 45 ___ A POET’S TASK A poet sits alone at night To think what can’t be though and once She can -- or so she thought she could -Reduce such sharp and pointed edge To rolling wave and rhyming word. ‘Tween dusk and dawn she does her work To grasp for moment’s worth, To sigh and breathe and hold it close, To give what ne’er has had a host A quiet place to draw its breath. It chokes! It chokes on empty air: The air itself a harsh refrain Of whirling winds. An empty space Exists cannot she fill at all? And blow, escape, and think we ought: The word, at once itself, is naught. “Giggle” by Neha Nayak Dominique Nikolaidis S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 46 ___ S P E C T R U “The autumn leaves blew over the moonlit pavement in such M a way as to make the girl who was moving there seem fixed AUTUMN 2 0 1 4 to a sliding walk, letting the motion of the wind and the leaves carry her forward.” ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 RIPE INTENSITY DIVERSITY ACCEPTANCE EAGERNESS DETERMINATION 47 ___ ANTICIPATION Just the trickles of red licorice vines Melting to trail like rivulets on skin. Head turn, pupils dilated in fear Careful. A swinging silver pendulum of fate, Back and forth, back and forth. Cracked slivers of green fell in time with the hourglass. A lull for every flinch, every minute Move, don’t dare such a feat. Don’t sleep. But Gravity, the oblivious wicked child, Gently begs for your body as the angels Drag you upwards by your toes. The prickles of steel needles in your skin, The burning fire roasting you inside. The puffs of white breaths fog your eyes and you Slowly, slowly, drown in ice water. Wait! No! Somewhere in front of your eyelids, a lone wolf Howls and mourns you, Like a B-grade tragedy. As you fall Down, Down, Down. Maggie Chen S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 48 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 JUST TO EXIST I shield myself from your obliteration. You, who conducts the wind to slash in my face. Whose eyes blaze with degrading animosity with unsatisfied, egotistical wishes. But my face stands strong, I refuse to bow. I will keep my high upon my small shoulders. I continue down this path in spite of you. You may tear my soul, but I have my passion and pride. One day, our paths will be split for eternity. So I can simply be an existence of my own choosing. Yes, just to be, Nothing more, Nothing less. “Mask” by Bobby DePollo Nina Nakkash 49 ___ FOREVER Continuing on a blissful path, The deep memories overtaking every sporadic thought. Nothing lingers in this place, It is far too small and everchanging. Nothing here lasts forever. It seems like an eternity, but When will we truly savvy the passage, Of all things and everything. When will we grasp the distressing truth that, Nothing here lasts forever. S P E C T R U M What should the present ever mean to us? For the past is out of tune, And what is to come seems so far away. We forget so easily and so readily that, Nothing here lasts forever. 2 0 1 4 “Neptune’s Muse” by Hannah Hansen Samina Saifee 50 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 LINDY I remember the soft creases around her eyes, shifting gently as her voice danced over the opaline craters of Change’e’s moon. She read with Ma’s frankincense and Daddy’s foul cigarettes choking the air until I would press my nose into her sweater and breathe mellow freedom and sweet lavender. I used to point to the liver sports on her hands and ask where they came from. Lindy just cackled. “They’re beauty spots,” she would say. I looked at my own hands, small and male and nail-bitten. “One day you’ll bloom and taste the stars,” she continued, clasping my hands in her own. “Every night the moon will bend to kiss you goodnight and the planets will turn to curtsy. You’ll be a woman. Then you’ll have beauty spots, too.” One night old Lindy paused mid-speech and closed her eyes. Her hands stopped moving. Her voice stopped waltzing in its high-pitched ballroom. I sat staring, waiting for more, but the song had ended. The air soured and sharpened to a still. I screamed. Old Lindy, beautiful Lindy, forgive me. Forgive my unmoving hands. Forgive my voice, reduced to a choked sputtering. Forgive my callow eyes which stared at death like an inexorable friend rather than striking it up and out of your trembling vessels. Blue, Lindy, blue as cobalt. White, Lindy, white as chalk. Over time, are people reduced to the lame colors of death? Claire Wang Blue veins and white skin and purple lips—that’s it? That’s what I remember the most. November sixteenth—I say you lying there in a dress I had never seen before, eyes closed in pensive sleep. I wanted to touch but Ma said no. I wanted to TOUCH, lindy, I wanted to know what you were thinking about, what you could have been thinking about with so many teary-eyed strangers gesturing and sniffling and staring. I wanted to know what you were going to say next, how the song would end, how you would close the blank. After that I didn’t stay. I threw my hands to the sky and lightning broke them. I gave my lungs to the scabrous asphalt and they sublimated in a feathery mist of perfumed glass. I drove my body into the earth with the force of a hundred horses and it exploded in a smattering of red wine. I felt the moon bend to kiss me goodnight. The planets curtsied, then resumed their elliptical orbits. Thunder rumbled in a moment of regard and rain stepped gingerly around the mess I made. I believe this is how people leave us, Lindy. No cry, no wind, no roof. Just convulsing in a pool of their own tempests, waiting, hoping it isn’t true. Claire Wang 51 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 52 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 THE PLAY Scene one you met her on a freezing gray morning Scene two you stared at her hand when you laughed together alone, but you never touched it Scene three you stuck your hands in your pockets as she danced, twirling around, inviting you out But in scene four, you felt you had the right to be bitter when she left the party with another man You said it was someone else’s fault Hers, perhaps, for not giving you a runway Or his, for having the confidence you don’t possess But that’s not verbally how you blame him Scene five you gave her tissues on that old leather couch you helped carry up the stairs But you inched away when she moved in only to realize your mistake later Scene five she packed up and wanted a new start You wanted to say something or make a big gesture But instead you helped her pack Scene six you called her but she didn’t answer. Scene seven you texted her but she didn’t respond Justin Graffa Scene eight you texted her. And texted her. And texted her. You bothered and pestered too much, but you were ready to sweep her off her feet. But the only thing you got back was a text Saying “who is this?” Scene nine you deleted her number out your phone but you’ve never forgotten it. Scene ten you deleted all of the pictures of her you two took together. The curtain drew to a close in the anticlimactic finale But the show starts up again soon. “Indian Puppets” by Sonali Prasad Justin Graffa 53 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 54 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 IN OCEAN OF SUBCONSCIOUS Your tone thrashing against my ears, scratching, accusing, agonizing. Your voice no longer comprehendible, muffled by the waves in my subconscious. Your image, with wrathful creases of insanity, once filled my eyes. No longer do my eyes identify you, your image opaque by the water above me. Memory of your existence remains, etched in my very spirit. The evanescence of my whole being continues, in hope that one day, your voice will perish; your picture nonexistent, your existence unrecognized… unknown but to me. Your existence will become nonexistent, drowned by the water, in the ocean of my subconscious. Nina Nakkash 55 ___ FALL Wind floating around the branches Twisting and turning through the maze Looking for the way out Pushing anything in its path Zooming through tiny openings in a leaf Lifting and breaking it by the stem Held up by the wind for all to see To fall. S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 “Star Crossed Lovers” by Hannah Hansen Rachel Clephane 56 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 SLAM POETRY Slam poetry is basically a subtweet And real poetry is only in a textbook The verse and free rhyme is only conceit And your rap is only the next hook Because everyone wants to think they’re deep Even me behind the computer screen People move on because they can’t keep Their angst filled fuel they had as a teen And the real metaphors they used die in the alley A syringe in their arm of compliments they gave others Laced with heroine and they’re part of another taly A death count of dreams they say were killed by their fathers The leather suitcase with their adult things is a coffin And the tie around their neck a noose Their mausoleum is their corner office Another life of dreams made into a collection of suits. “Dots” by Bhavna Guduguntla Justin Graffa 57 ___ CURSED Small tugs on the string, light pokes on the shoulder. I think of her and how she called my name and held my hand. Her eyes used to sparkle and her smile used to shine. I never really realized it but I think she loved me. Now she’s different. She’s full of darkness and hatred, anger and pain. That last sliver of optimism has left her, probably taken away by me. I can’t help but think this is all my fault but I think she loved me. Flutters of the heart, skips in the step. Her bright spirit was contagious and I, I was enraptured. I broke her but I think she loved me. And a pang of guilt shoots through me because I think. I think I loved her too. “Drum” by Sydney Shanbrom Tara Tang S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 58 ___ A COLOR OF COAL S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 Right now I am sitting under something disgusting Choking on cigarettes and whatever still counts as love. Waiting. And I am terribly lonely. I am the biggest cliché of what counts as Lonely. Lonely and tired. Sublimating. But I have broken too many backs To complain. This wind has made my insides cough and sputter, Like the rested coils of some twisted machine made To shred fingertips in one clean sweep, snap tailbones and shatter retinas. Where the striations along my forearms bleed like tired men and the ever-present sound of WHO EVEN GIVES A D*MN runs stale because We are nothing but dutiful ghosts throbbing in the shadows Of real people. When I was small my mother sat me down On the kitchen table and spoke quietly, “Son, people like us Don’t make it out there. Look at your hands, the color of Coal. Your eyes, like shots fired from your daddy’s pistol. What do you see? What is hanging on the end of a silver string, waiting for you to clasp it between your small hands?” She stroked my hair that was not quite hair yet and smiled a drop of sadness. At first when she spoke I could do nothing but nod. Her love For me was convoluted. My love for her was boundless. When I was fifteen I left her. Took the keys and kicked a foot through the screen door in the middle of the night because I was too ashamed and too much of a coward to leave while she was watching. Closed my eyes and made myself Claire Wang forget who I was, where I came from. I forgot how she laughed. I forgot the scent of orange soap on her neck. Forgot the yellowing mattress and the quivering light. Tonight I dream I am swimming in a nebulous pool Of ghosts. They run slippery fingers through my insides As if to claim me for one of their own. I close my eyes and a tongue passes over my left ear and sings of a God chanting my name, Holding my soul on the frayed end of a silver string. Dangling by my eyelashes. I look up and she’s laughing. She smells of citrus and Watered down coffee and painted light. Her lips are moving but I can’t hear the words. I am screaming. Strain and strain for something tangible. Then, With the flick of a finger, I am lost again. My love for her was convoluted. Her love for me was boundless. “Blue” by Hannah Hansen Claire Wang 59 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 60 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 REALITY The Labyrinth of Dreams spanning my brain dug deep into the crevices like a criminal of knowledge, hidden from Nature’s raging desire to bombard it with infectious doubts. Dream killers fly like birds, golden daggers tearing at soft gray walls, That confuse them evermore. A supercilious world where I cannot see truth in my dreams, but my nightmares. “Balloon” by Phil Kovalev Maggie Chen 61 ___ THE STORM A storm prevails, so devastatingly strong. The people are frightened and smothered by the fog. No one knows where to go or who to ask, But there was the man who knew how to stand. A man of no warmth lies, In the ground, and he stares with glazed eyes. The grievances begin as he is lowered in, Into a place of darkness and demise. He is remembered by all, for he wasn’t vain, In fact his prestige stemmed from other people’s disdain. The fact that he didn’t back down, and stood up, Through the lightning strikes and the pouring rain. When no hope was left, he fought through the flood, Through the raging currents, and the impeding mud. When everything came to an end, The people realized who enlightened them. When the clouds turned back, To the shade they came from, To that vivid sky, The people looked down at their feet. They see the man of no warmth, resting in peace, Leaving his people behind, In a world of obscenity, with nothing but his words, And he is lowered into the darkness, forever. Samina Saifee S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 62 ___ S P E C T R U M DARK Dark clouds filling gaping holes in the sky Peaks of mountaintops casting a shadow Curving down the mountainside Light at the bottom shifted Crushing weight of the dark puts Light off-track Rise up to the sky desperately trying Yet to be covered Out of the dark comes a grey matter The cycle is complete And the light is banished 2 0 1 4 “Cape Cod” by Keegan Haines Rachel Clephane 63 ___ STORM When a tree falls in a lonely forest, it falls on crushed dreams and dead hopes. It falls on lost love and forgotten sacrifice. The trunk destroys inspiration and the leaves smother determination, only despair left in their wake. It falls and cracks at the roots, and the sunlight is shed through the falling branches, not welcoming but agonizing and blinding. It falls with a crushing thunder, a storm piercing through the hearts of those who need a hand to hold and a shoulder to cry on. It falls and leaves nothing but pain. When a tree falls in a lonely forest, does it make a sound? Tara Tang S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 64 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 ALABASTER 1:25 AM. The sky exhales ropy clouds. The mountains rage softly in their pearly cloaks. I tip my head back and all of a sudden his lips are on mine. His smile is the color of electric blue nail polish and Aerosmith CDs. He thinks I am beautiful and I think I am ordinary. We drink to blue dahlias and Eskimo kisses. It’s Friday night I’m in love. Now we are running. We are in a dirty gray pickup truck that wheezes and whoops clouds of cauliflower. He smells like rain and midnight meteor showers and peppermint soap. He thinks I am tired and offers his shoulder. While I sleep he pitches me to the stars and they dye my fingertips purple. It’s Friday night I’m in love. We are underwater. Everything is alive. The moon, the color of milk, washes over us like flames dripping into a thick pool of wax. His eyes are everywhere like broken glass spinning in a kaleidoscope. He thinks I am asleep and trieds to talk with God. I listen quietly. He cries alabaster tears and chuckles to himself. A broken keyboard sings a song of sadness. It’s Friday night I’m in love. Claire Wang Tonight I lie here alone. Red lips and tiny shoes and soft dirt. The fog seems thicker here. The trees seem whiter. The sky churns with the eyes of a hundred flaming coils. He thinks I have forgotten and drowns Memory in a viscous oil of affliction. I close my eyes and imagine lips flickering under the moonlight, lips which do not speak but tell me a story of dreams and sprightly love and slippery fingertips, nothing but cool palms weeping in the wind. 1:29 AM. The sky sputters quietly in its charcoal tomb. I tip my head back and the stars bend to kiss me good night. It’s not the same. I think he is beautiful and close my eyes. He is with me for a second. It’s Friday night. “In Orbit” by Marilyn Smith Claire Wang 65 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 66 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 TO ERADICI see it all upon the desk I am confined. Pens scribble boldly, highlighters mark pages of ink. But Pencils? Shouldn’t even bother. Leaving stains of feath’ry spider webs, smudges of missives past: infuriatingly impermanent. Nevertheless, it is my nature to eradicate. Note how I mechanically destroy while they disappear willingly. The slanted letters never wish to stay: Not for the wife, the mother, or the daughter. Lithe fingers grasp the wood; trained hands move quickly, relishing in attempted honesty. Her business trip: “Gone for a few days-honey, the truth is I’m having an aff” my head meets the page and she rubs until the delicate handwriting vanishes. I feel a little shorter as she brushes my shavings to the floor. Golden Number 2’s quiver, Sara Dassanayake 67 ___ shaking in their hysteria. The uneven scrawls never wish to stay: Not for the friend, the daughter, or the employee. Laughter jingles from lips pink as whor -tleberry flowers and polished digits rifle through fat, white, envelopes. They leave her sweaty palms to grip a graphite-filled tube. The end of her new career: “I can’t do this anymore, I qui” she grabs my head and rubs until defined strokes fade to slivers of gray. I feel a little thinner as she brushes my shavings to the floor. “Alone” by Neha Nayak Sara Dassanayake S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 68 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 STEPPING INTO GREATNESS Those stern hands reached out to me; grooves and ridges telling the tale of his life’s work. His hair was so white it could have been likened to that of a cotton field. He was old but not in terms of time. Age had not been good to him; the beatings life dealt him had taken a toll on his soul. He looked about 80 but if I recall he was a mere 60 years old when he left. My last memory of him is vague. As I try to recall my last visit with him, the only image that comes to mind is a man descending the steps of his front porch. With each step, he tells a chapter of his story. No words; just his presence. The presence of a broken man who spent his entire life working. I watched as he descended those steps, which were caked in rust and baked by the golden rays of the afternoon sun. That was the first time I truly saw him. I saw his struggle, his pain, and his pride. As I stared into his dark eyes, those eyes work by age, which sought refuge behind the blue film that shielded them from my gaze. His eyes acted as a mirror, which reflected back into my soul. In that mirror I saw something. His gaze imparted a lesson that would change the course of my life. Education is power. My grandfather was an intelligent man, but now I understand that an education would have changed the course of his life. I saw a man crippled and beaten by the toll that manual labor took on his body and his soul. On that day, as I observed his shadow of a man, I vowed to never take education for granted. Each day brings a new challenged and a new obstacle. When I feel like givin up and succumbing to the pressures of school, I now stop and reflect. I remember that broken man stepping down those stairs which were caked in rust and worn by time. My memory has made me a better man because it was instilled in me a drive to do better than he did; to not take education for granted because without an education Chris Jackson one is powerless. Knowledge is power and that is why I dare not take pity on this man. Although he had little money and few comforts, he was a man rich in knowledge. The knowledge that he acquired during his lifetime acts as a map in my own life. As I navigate my way through my life, I at times think that I am lost. The cloud of temptation at times blocks my path to victory but the memory of my grandfather shows me another way. He provides me with another route, and the route always involves education. The mirror is a beautiful thing. Through our reflection we are able to see ourselves as the world sees us. As I look in the mirror, I see that man who descended those steps for the last time all those years ago. I see those dark eyes and then I see myself. I realize that as I looked into those eyes for the last time, I formed a lasting connection and that even through death he teaches me. Even without a college degree he is my teacher. He may not have graduated from a university, but he was a student of life. He showed me that I have two choices: I can just sit in the passenger seat and coast or I can be an active participant in my own life. I now have taken ahold of the steering wheel of destiny and my grandfather is my GPS. His spirit guides and motivates me. Now as I embark on the road trip I call life, I can trust in him to provide me with directions. I now see the world for what it is-- a novel. With every page we can choose to give up if we stumble on a word we don’t understand or we can keep reading and see what the next page has in store. Chris Jackson 69 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 70 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 WASTED I could have cried crocodile tears for you. I could have ripped out my heart for you. I could have give you everything I had, But I would have been wasting timeThrowing away my time, not yours. Maybe I had restless nights because of you Maybe my heart did hurt a little for you Maybe I gave up some things for you, But you never would have noticed. How could you see those sly looks I gave you? Or the way I shook my head and smiled Whenever I saw you around? You didn’t. “Puppy Eyes” by Angela Lee Jema Fregene 71 ___ MOTHER AND SON She was 23 and that made him 17. But she had become the mother and he had become the son. And although she knew it didn’t normally work that way, she still embraced it and she told herself she would become the best mother this boy will ever know. She told herself she would, she worked until she was, and when she finally did it, she stayed that way. Sometimes she can’t help but show the world who he is to her and sometimes he gets a big embarrassed, with a little boy’s blush and a small series of nods and everything else. But deep down, they both know he’s grateful because she stayed that way. She really stayed the best mother he’ll ever know, and he’s thankful. Their love is a mutual thing, it’s just that some people express love more than others. She knows that and he knows she knows that. He grew up with a hole in his heart but she filled it, and in the process she filled the bigger, deeper hole in her own heart. They’re both grateful. And their love is a mutual thing. Tara Tang S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 72 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 DIGESTION When you were a child Did your mother ever pick you up and point to a curling river And tell you THIS IS BEAUTY Did your father ever hoist you over his shoulders And say THIS IS FREEDOM Did your older brother teach you all the constellations And scream at the stars, with all their white caps THIS IS GOD Good god, this is God. This is God and He had made all the difference in our Lives. He created the dauntless Sun and the briny oceans, the lithe serpents and the demure fauns. This is Nature. She held your Hand before you Even knew you had Fingers. She filled your Stomach With Moths and you dreamed a bloodless Belly of wax figurines: You called the first on your Mother, For she had bleached fingernails and A leaden heart of gossamer tendrils That reached benearth your sternum and Made a pact of LOVE You called the second one your Father, For he came with a long pipe but no smoke, A sable shotgun but no bullets, A white collared shirt but no cuff links. His eyes fluttered half-open in a moment of regard, Then settled back into their viscous sockets. Claire Wang You named the third one after Me. It was an odd-shaped thing, always twisting And convulsing into new forms. Sometimes I was As small and useless as a marble, other times I was mottled and scabrous, A sadistic nightmare. I have tried so hard to understand your Beauty. I clawed at my face which was sharp and angular Like parquet. Curdled wax melted off my cheeks and I felt my shredded complexion collect in a puddle of hot acid at my feet. I called this caustic broth my salvation. I called to my Mother and my Father, My ill-conceived family Which I begged to free me. I stood bent over and retched for an eternity before I finally Digested the Truth. “Comic Beauty” by Hannah Hansen Claire Wang 73 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 74 ___ S P E C T R U M ALONE No one understands me, no one feels what I feel All this pain inside me, there’s no space heel So stressed out, this life kills me So i go to my own world where I can truly be me. I’m all alone, I have to stay isolated by myself I’m all alone, and they talk about me instead of help Everyone on my case, life gets harder and harder People hate, but it makes me stronger. Everyone doubts, they have no faith in me But I don’t care, I will rise. Just watch and see. 2 0 1 4 “Bionic” by Becky McGeorge Kone Bowman 75 ___ THE FIRE It blazes Leaves; freshly striked matches Incense colors Everything swept away Devoured by the paint bucket Carelessly poured, splattered Down Smoldering leaves crunching; flickering Stomp. Then wisp of relief Hollow wind whistles; log teeth call reverberating the core Stirring the rising dust Crumbling coals Smothering flamboyance and Finale burst of campfire sparks To dabble in vain At creeping cold Tucking summer ashes Sleep. “Old Rusty Blue” by Hannah Hansen Lydia Wang S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 76 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 WINTER “If the moon smiled, she would resemble you. You leave the same impression Of something beautiful, but annihilating.” ― Sylvia Plath, Ariel SNOW REFLECTION SILENCE ENDINGS DEATH DECAY SOLEMN 77 ___ REALITY One must simply do Speculation yields no fruits It is the weapon of the instigator, The enemy of the achiever. Results. The truth is undeniable, Real. Whether the offspring of accident, Or the outcome of constant calculations The truth is. No more, no less. S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 “Spheres” by Katie Mansour Jon Scott 78 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 BLACK LEAF SPOTS Leaves sway, rustling to the warm echoes of fresh abscission. Twisting in roaring zephyrs, tossing in icy winds, silver droplets fall from an ever-melting sky. They pounce upon fresh olive parchment, Poking, prodding, revealing of a new palimpsest the scant inky remnants. Water tears like quick, meticulous needles, ripping open tender green flesh. While cross little pools scab to muddy splotches. The wrapping tainted, gem-like wounds redress the present They wind around the russet cheeks of golden apples with the vigor of new stamps. The fruit blushes black, reveling in an envy-soaked garden of Hesperides. Nymphs still rival muses nine if pure infection stain the track of not only the truth but chaos swathed in scales that taint what was once forbidden. Only choice of venturia betters unequal opportunities, exposing seedlings to no more than marssonina. Sara Dassanayake To consider susceptible shrubbery, to extend the wait for those most disposed to disease. Referring, of course, back to the original problem of venturia, thinking only of Second Comings, for all that came first served as mere hallucination. Inspiringly infectious? Indubitably so. Notoriously new? Otherwise useless. Gold for fools? Fools for gold. Sores will blemish canopies, but scars will stain the forest floor. 79 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 “Bottle” by Kayla Lee Sara Dessanayake 80 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 FOREIGN FAMILIARITY I’ve been waiting for you and I still am. You, with your warm eyes and gentle smile, you give me faith. My heart settles with the words on the tip of your tongue. I see you in myself, but still you feel foreign. You can help me, I’m sure, help me live and help me feel, and yet I wonder. Who are you? “Don’t Turn Your Back On Us” by Emily Herard Tara Tang 81 ___ A CLOSED ROSE Petals stuck together Tightly shut until its bloom. With time passing by as Change takes place. Prepare for opening. One petal unfolds Stretching like the arms of a child. Followed by another Ready to be seen by the light Ready for the shine. The vibrant colors were washed out, The red edges started curling down, Folded away from itself. On by one dropped Down Until all were spread flat on the ground.. “Reach” by Marilyn Smith Rachel Clephane S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 82 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 LET US MEET AGAIN Your peachy face, illuminated by the hazy glow of the lamp post, Betrays your soft smile, showing a sea of tears in your eyes, branching off into streams Upon your pearly-smooth cheeks. In my arms I hold you as you slowly fade. I smile for you, love. I wish to leave you with a smiling memory of myself. I gaze into your sorrowful eyes, we both smile at one another. Your weight lightens, You disintegrate into nothingness. All I hold is air. I live on, In hope that we will meet again, love… In another time, In another place. “Cadillac Dash” by Austin Santangelo Rachel Clephane 83 ___ ANATOMY OF LOVE My love for you was merely firings of neurons Ions jumping over sheaths wrapped around aggregates of phospholipids Rumbling with the stampede of particles and currents swirling Up and down my body to finally vibrate down at the bottom Epinephrine unlocking doors to the secret cells of my longing But now I’m at homeostasis Or am I? Why does my heart ache so? Perhaps the myocytes contract in fear of loneliness Perhaps the lack of oxygen, The lack of you, has accumulated the acid, Eating away tissue with every beat And blood is straining to burst free from the bond we didn’t share equally Is love merely this cycle of substance, This electric circulation of protein, carbohydrate, lipid and cell fragments? Powerful is he who can stir up this mad brew in my placid veins And powerful is he who can silently lyse every passionate cell Leaving nothing but an organic pool of why? “Imbalance” by Helena Chen Lydia Wang S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 84 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 CRIMSON We roam along beaches, you and I. Let the gentle ties bathe our feet, Cleanse our soles of the glass shards That we march through everyday. A tranquility that lasts but a second As the sun dips into the sea, Dyes it crimson, pink, and purple. This is the moment we live for. Walk with me, you say, Right palm up, heart lines exposed. Do you realize what you’re doing? No, I don’t suppose you do. Your distant eyes look far, dimmed in the shine Of a bright white crescent. I envy the person dancing on your insides. Shatter me and ignore my tears. Understand I’m not the one you want, I’m not the one you need, I’m not the one… Willow branches shimmering With droplets from tears shed. Before I curl into myself, And disappear before your eyes. Five years pulled from a magician’s hat, Like a white rabbit’s blank stare, A blank slate. A new life. I forgot what you want And became what I need. Maggie Chen But you, you sly darling, Still remember everything. Back to the beginning with the sand Between our toes, nostalgic isn’t it? Your gaze shines, like the sweet, new Dawn flushed rosy red, like our cheeks. Another beginning. Meet me halfway, lean forward Just a tad, more than enough. I will complete your broken cycle. A first kiss swathed in drama, Lacy bows and silk ribbons And glitter bombs. Time doesn’t stop like it should, But thins out like threat For the wings of gold dragonflies To weave through our hair. This is the moment we live for. “Unfnished Business” by Darrel Davison Maggie Chen 85 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 86 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 SCHISM OF LIFE Fragments of memory Flit about Boasting the great childhood past Of serene landscape Flooded with happiness How overwhelmingly frustrating Exasperating Is the present. Whirling in a frenzy. Cluttered and strewn about in utter disarray Sapped of energy. Yet continuing to pummel into my soul Seeking even the carcass. “Life Balance” by Darrel Davison Mina Lee UNTITLED Poetry doesn’t really exist anymore It’s an angst-filled teenager with WiFi Or a dying grandfather with a typewriter They only mean half the things they say And people fill in the rest with what they want to hear Literality doesn’t exist in poetry Free-verse or rhyme - it’s always something else The only thing given to you straight are the lines on paper “No no,” your English teachers says “The blue sky isn’t blue, blue means his inner depression” Because I don’t mean anything I say and it never happened But people will read it and try to sound smart And we could turn authors and poets into energy If we hooked up wires to them rolling in their graves. “1932 Front End” by Austin Santangelo Justin Graffa 87 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 88 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 INDEFINITE SPACE Walking across the acres of fields between our homes Earthworms whining under hard, determined feet Tissue paper clouds melting away from the candlelight of the setting sun I see you in the distance Only a small black dot. But clearly I see You have a walking stick Ripped from an innocent tree Bare from autumn shedding. I see every fold and crinkle in your face in your concentration Swinging at imaginary monsters and demons Saving your damsel in distress. The distance between us closes, and now you’re a silhouette I see the windblown T-shirt glowing red I’m imagining your twinkling eyes laughing at the sight of me And I hear your wild laughter even though I know you’re too far away For me to hear you. The sky turns from red to purple and now you’re blurry But we’re coming in closer Still coming, and I’m waiting for you Anticipating the moment we come face to face. Now you’re meters away, and I feel your presence, flying to join mine I smile, you’re finally here But where are your lean arms? Your freckles, the red glowing shirt I saw so clearly It’s too dark, but it doesn’t matter, I know it’s there, Somewhere, swimming around, slithering behind. Lydia Wang I don’t imagine you anymore, because you’re here Now you’re here, coming to stand beside me The stars out and the planets teasing me Challenging me to trace the short distances between each star And I do, but the stars are shifting, running away with peals of laughter I laugh too, but then I start to cry They’re all running away from me I turn to you, and I grasp your hollow shell I reach for your hand, but all I feel is air A slow breeze purrs over my face and rustles… As I open my eyes to curtains billowing by the window. 89 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 “Sounds of Summer” by Austin Santangelo Lydia Wang 90 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 LOTUS FLAKES Since time did not wait for me, I made haste to catch up. The zoo held animals of all kinds, but I am still unwelcome. Under unfamiliar glares, I locked away my picture frames and my names too, Behind opaque windows of a dusty zoo. As I walked around the pond, People stopped at the glass. Peering, yet Passing into flames of eternity. Or maybe, I passed them. An indiscernible veil. They glance only, where a crowd stood, To the signs that bulletpoint me. “Veil” by Helena Chen Karen Jiang ASLEEP IN WAX DREAMS Sing me to sleep, with a voice that curves over my sleeping silhouette like boats riding the pithy flicker of the moon -touch and go, touch and go. Never in one place for too long. We hold close and watch quietly for the wind to fall, a star to drop, a name to be whispered into the dead of night. Look through lucid pupils, darling. See anything Look for the silver lining, a golden ticket, what do you see? You cry and cry and I think your tears might somehow transmute to a song in our doting slumber. but every hour silence greets us like an old friend and tell us to go, the door is on the left. And so I ask you nothing more, than to sing me to sleep with a voice that curves over my sleeping silhouette like grace bending to ebb over an old river for I am only one cell in the sea of wax dreams. Claire Wang 91 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 92 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 SWEET THUNDERSTORM I tasted the dull gray of clouds As they grow. My flesh scorched at the trickle of droplets. My heart ached at low growls and Heavy gray claps. My scarred fingers itched to kiss Your sweet sparks that sprinted Through the atmosphere I cannot shed my skin of hunger, So tightly wrapped That nerve and bone were bared In its abandonment Where were the memories Of ignorant bliss to feverish desire? Of cherished dreams from then? Tethered by a toddler’s Wisdom teeth. So dangerous. Five steps from chasing The blazing tree. Five grains of sand cradled Near my ears, Clasped In my open palms. Held close LIke a lightning rod. I smiled and breathed: Good day, my sweet thunderstorm. Maggie Chen 93 ___ SILENCE It’s a ring in your ears, a buzz that creeps to you as its opposite retreats, knawing away at eardrums. The pressure builds until suddenly it crushes, tsunami wave roaring over beautifully deadly conch shells in the shifting sands forever and only echoing the faint lub-dub of the sea. It’s alive. It’s a monster that kidnaps the children first, gobbling in and spitting them out, cold stealthily armed with weapons until the elders are engulfed in their own contraption. All are affected, all misunderstood, staring at each other with ammunition in mouths. What’s next? It blossoms into a screaming web with the rising of the sun each invisible strand a shot fired, a petal unfurling. And with every rising the web weaves thicker and thicker, knitting a snuggly blanket, smothering intersecting lasers of knowing eyes over the din of fibers confining Naughty to the dark corner Where the eight-eyed beast glares at the others, daring for them to make a first flinch… It’s patient, It’s comfortable, It’s silence. Lydia Wang S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 94 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 THE ICE PRINCESS It’s funny to think about it like that - with words like mental disorder. They taste funny in my mouth, foreign and strange. To me she was always just a girl, an Ice Princess girl, who floated on icicle legs and had a face small enough to crush in my fist. She breathed frost onto the bathroom mirror, incriminating Fog that told us of her tears. And she armed herself with a plastic spoon when she slipped into a stall, While I waited my turn and listened to her emptying the sinful waste in her stomach. So mental disorder isn’t the right word - not really. The Ice Princess, surrounded by so much summer, merely melted away. “Winter” by Maddie Friedman Jiwon Yun 95 ___ “There is nothing so stable as change.” ~Bob Dylan S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 “Sirens” by Halie Conyers 96 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 LETTERS FROM THE STAFF First of all, I’d like to thank Mrs. Hannett-Price for her dedication and support of the Spectrum Club. I’m also thankful to Rachel, the members of the Spectrum staff, and members of the club for their help and love of writing. Participating in Spectrum has been a great way to channel ideas into different methods of expression, and has helped me mature by giving me insight about my life. One can say that Spectrum is a quilt of squares sewn together, each square representing the ideas and philosophies of each individual in the club. Together, we knit together a bigger story - a distinctive eye opener to the soul and the world it resides in. I hope you enjoy this issue! ~Lydia Wang, editor-in-chief & design editor First of all, I would like to thank Mrs. Hannett for her guidance and endless support for the creation of the Spectrum magazine, and to Lydia and the rest of the staff for all their help. The theme of this issue was seasons and the emotions felt during each one of them. The characteristics of spring, like trees growing and flowers blooming, inspired the poetry in this section to have themes of rebirth and growth, while the hot weather and thunderstorms of summer led to themes of happiness and unrest, decaying leaves during fall created themes of closure, and snowfall prompted darker themes such as death and sadness. ~Rachel Clephane, editor-in-chief LETTERS FROM THE STAFF First and foremost, thank you to Mrs. Hannett and Mr. Sadler for all the mentoring they have provided me in writing this year and last. I am truly grateful for their inspiration and guidance over the years. Working with the Spectrum staff has brought me a greater appreciation for the editorial process and for both writing and art. Throughout this issue, one can experience the cyclic qualities of both nature and human existence itself as topics of passion, fearlessness, decay, and renewal are explored through our overarching theme of seasons. Being part of Spectrum has been an enlightening and rewarding experience and I hope to continue to be a part of future issues! Enjoy! ~Claire Wang, associate editor For me, this year at Spectrum was a time of beginnings. I’m so thankful for the opportunity to work on such a compelling and inspirational magazine. I would especially like to thank the editors-in-chief Lydia and Rachel for teaching me so much about not only the mechanics of the magazine, but also the work and insight that goes into creating such a masterpiece. Mrs. Hannett-Price has always been much more than just the faculty advisor of Spectrum. She has been a guiding force and a constant source of inspiration. Her perpetual dedication and love for the magazine has kept all of us motivated to always do our best, and for that I cannot thank her enough. Even though this was only my first year, I have already been swept up into the tide of Spectrum’s vast ocean. I cannot wait to continue my journey in the years to come. It is the product of hours of work and passion and I’m so thankful to be a part of it. ~Jiwon Yun, associate editor 97 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 98 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 LETTERS FROM THE STAFF These past years at Spectrum have been a great learning experience. I both created and edited poems and stories to be placed in this year’s magazine of Spectrum 2014. I want to thank the Spectrum advisor, Mrs. Hannett, and the two Spectrum editors-in-chief, Rachel Clephane and Lydia Wang, for aiding me in the process of becoming an intern and of editing pieces of poetry. I’ve learned so much about writing and creating a magazine. I love every minute of time spent in Spectrum! ~Maggie Chen, associate editor “Spectrum”, I believe, is the medium through which students can unleash their emotions and express their opinions. “Spectrum” allows every one of us to savor even the most negligible components of life. It is my hope that the reader can be whisked away to distant, blissful memories as they read each work in this issue of “Spectrum”. I would like to thank Mrs. Hannett for having founded such a wonderful literary magazine which never ceases to impress the faculty and students here at DCDS. ~Mina Lee, editorial board member CREDITS Editors-In-Chief: Lydia Wang and Rachel Clephane Associate Editors: Claire Wang, Jiwon Yun, Maggie Chen Design Editor: Lydia Wang Editorial Board: Lydia Wang Rachel Clephane Claire Wang Jiwon Yun Maggie Chen Mina Lee Faculty Advisor: Mrs. Beverly Hannett-Price Special Thanks: The Spectrum Staff Ms. Mary Ann DeVogel The Art Department The English Department Sean Davis Student Visual-Artists and Writers 99 ___ S P E C T R U M 2 0 1 4 INSERT BACK COVER HERE.
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