Body Language

Body Language
http://www.getthejob.com.au/jobinterview/bodylanguage.htm
http://www.sideroad.com/Business_Etiquette/business-bodylanguage.html
http://www.charlestonschoolofprotocol.com/N5_News_Detail.asp?pid=68
&ID=179
http://www.corporateicon.com/morearticlesbycorpicon.html
Why is body language so important?
• Body language speaks louder than words.
• When we communicate:
7 % of the message comes from the words
we use
38 % comes from the tone we use
55 % comes from our body language
• Body language helps form the first
impression that people have of us.
• Body language does not lie; it reveals the
real us.
The Handshakes
Ingredients of a Good Handshake
• Make eye contact and smile.
• Hold the person's hand firmly.
• Shake web-to-web, three times maximum.
• Maintain constant eye contact.
• Radiate positive aura.
Meanings behind handshakes
• Controller
A person extends his hand to you, web-to-web,
and as soon as your hands are linked, he purposely
maneuvers his hand onto the top. He's telling you
he wants to be in charge.
Meanings behind handshakes—continued
• Sandwich
Use this one only with people you know. When you
envelop another person's hands, you are invading
their private space ... where you are to be only
when invited. This handshake is also known as the
politician's handshake ... which may be cause
enough for most people to avoid it!
Meanings behind handshakes—continued
• Dead Fish
Imagine rubbing a scaly, dead fish in your hands ...
and you got the picture. Your hands typically are
wet for two reasons: You are nervous or you have
been holding a cold beverage in your right hand
and move it to your left just before you shake
hands. In either case, it is extremely unpleasant
for the receiver. If you experience anxiety, wipe
your hands on a napkin, the tablecloth or even
lightly on your clothes. As for the beverage, use
common sense.
Meanings behind handshakes—continued
• Limp Fingers
Women, far more than men, extend their fingers
rather than their entire hand. It can be painful for
the extender, when she is greeted by a man who
shakes with his forceful grip. One of the ways to
combat this syndrome is to always extend you full
hand (never cup it) horizontally, even if your grip
is light.
Handshake Blunders
•
•
•
•
Controller
Sandwich
Dead fish
Limp fingers = Shaking the tips of the finger may
be perceived as a lack of self confidence.
• Energetic arm pump - Can sometimes be
perceived as insincere.
• Extending your arm with your palm facing down This may be be seen as disrespectful.
Cultural variations in handshakes
• In the U.S., the handshake is most often “effusive”.
There are several pumps of the arm, and a strong grip
delivers an unspoken message of confidence.
• In France, one pump is considered sufficient, and the
pressure is generally lighter.
• A light, lingering handshake is generally more favored
in Latin America, and to withdraw the hand too quickly
could be interpreted as an insult.
• In Japan, a formal bow usually precedes the handshake.
• In India, men automatically shake hands, but
businesswomen make the decision whether or not to
extend their hands along with a vocal greeting.
Handshake video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZV_VpXVMVqw
(meeting Pepsi race car driver, Jeff Gordon)
Posture
Which posture shows more confidence?
Standing with:
• Stomach in
• Chest out
• Shoulders back
• Head up
• Stomach protruding
• Shoulders drooping
• Head forward
• Slouching
Eye Contact
“When the eyes say one thing, and the
tongue another, a practiced man relies
on the language of the first.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Make it and keep it! Not only does focused
eye contact display confidence on your part,
it also helps you understand what the other
person is really saying verbally.
• Good eye contact also shows you are paying
attention to others. It plays a large part in
conveying our interest in others.
Eye Contact—
When to Look
• Begin as soon as you engage someone in a
conversation. However, you may wish to
start even earlier if you are trying to get
someone's attention.
• Continue it throughout the conversation.
• Be sure to maintain direct eye contact as
you are saying "good-bye." It will help leave
a positive, powerful lasting impression.
Eye Contact—
Where to Look
An imaginary triangle
• Imagine an inverted triangle in your face
with the base of it just above your eyes. The
other two sides descend from it and come to
a point between your nose and your lips.
That's the suggested area to "look at" during
business conversations.
• Socially, the point of the triangle drops to
include the chin and neck areas. When
people look you "up and down," it's probably
more than business or a casual social
situation they have in mind!
Eye Contact—
How long to Look
About 80 - 90 percent of the time.
• Less than that can be interpreted as discomfort,
evasiveness, lack of confidence or boredom.
• When you stare longer, it can be construed as
being too direct, dominant or forceful and make
the other person uncomfortable.
• It's okay to glance down occasionally as long as
your gaze returns quickly to the other person.
• Avoid looking over the other person's shoulders as
if you were seeking out someone more interesting
to talk with.
Smiles
• Smiles show interest, excitement, empathy,
concern; they create an upbeat, positive
environment.
• Don’t overuse your smile.
• To gain and increase respect, first establish
your presence in a room, then smile. It is far
more professional than to enter a room
giggling or "all smiles."
Good body language overview
• Move smoothly
• When introduced to someone, be aware of his
space
• Stand straight without slouching
• Stand with your feet 4 to 8 inches apart facing the
person with whom you are speaking.
• Keep your arms at your side; do not put your
hands in your pockets, behind your back, on your
hips or cross your arms.
• Keep your chin parallel to the ground, do not
lower your head or look at the ground
• Nod your head in acknowledgment of what is said
• Gesture with hands open
• Sit up straight
• Do not plop down into the chair
Decoding Body Language—
based on the culture in the USA
Eye flash: GREETING
Head tilt: EMPATHY
Arms crossed: DEFENSIVE,CAUTIOUS,
UNINTERESTED
Arms behind back: THOUGHTFUL, RELAXED
Arms akimbo: YOU THINK YOU STAND APART
FROM THE REST
Body leaning forward: INTEREST
Decoding Body Language—
based on the culture in the USA
One hand clasping the lower arm: INSECURE
Legs/Ankles wrapped: INSECURE [note: the
feet are the most honest part of body]
Legs crossed, ankle on knee, hands clamped
on horizontal leg: STUBBORN, IMMOVABLE
Hands clasped behind neck: SUPERIORITY
Hand clamped swiftly on to back of neck:
ANGRY
Decoding Body Language—
based on the culture in the USA
Rubbing chin: THINKING, UNDECIDED
Rubbing back of neck: UNSURE, DISBELIEF,
DISINTEREST IN CONVERSATION
Rubbing cheek: CONFUSED, NOT UNDERSTANDING
Head scratch: PUZZLED
One-sided smile: SARCASTIC
Decoding Body Language—
based on the culture in the USA
Touching/Rubbing nose: DISHONESTY—GIVING YOU
ONLY PART OF THE STORY, A "WHITE" LIE OR OUTRIGHT LIE; DOUBTFUL—THINKS YOU'RE LYING
Rubbing eye: I DON'T SEE IT THAT WAY
Unblinking gaze: THREATENING
One eyebrow raised: SKEPTICAL
Eyes closed while talking: VERY SURE, NOT
WANTING ANY OBJECTIONS
Decoding Body Language—
based on the culture in the USA
Touching/Covering mouth: SOMETHING TO HIDE
One finger ear/neck scratch: UNSURE
Face leaning on hand: BOREDOM OR TIREDNESS
Rubbing forehead: HEADACHE, SORELY IMPATIENT
Jutting chin out: DOMINANT POSTURING &
THREATENING
Lifting chin very high: DOMINANT POSTURING
Decoding Body Language—
based on the culture in the USA
Adjusting man's shirt cuff or woman’s purse:
NERVOUS
ANTICIPATION
Rubbing hands together: EAGER ANTICIPATION
Tapping fingers, pen, foot: IMPATIENT,
AGITATED,BORED, CALCULATING
Seated, hands on knees: IMPATIENT OR READY
TO LEAVE
Slapping side of thigh repeatedly: ANXIOUS TO
LEAVE
Decoding Body Language—
based on the culture in the USA
Resting palm on chin: CRITICAL, CYNICAL AND
NEGATIVITY
Rubbing around ears when giving a verbal
response: ‘I DON’T KNOW’
Staring blankly at the floor: DISINTERESTED IN
THE CONVERSATION
Decoding Body Language—
based on the culture in the USA
Rapidly nodding head: IMPATIENCE, EAGERNESS
TO ADD SOMETHING TO THE CONVERSATION
Slowly nodding: POSITIVE INTEREST,
COMPREHENSION
Rubbing collar: NERVOUSNESS
Biting fingernails: NERVOUSNESS

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