from REAL MOMS on CHILDBIRTH BY PAMELA PEERY 1 ADVICE AND ENCOURAGEMENT— CHOOSING WHAT TO PACK MOMS Packing for a hospitalfrom stay isREAL not familiar territory for most women. After procrastinating on untilCHILDBIRTH the last possible second, I forced myself to pack a few things—change of clothing for me, some books, a sweet outfit for my newborn and some snacks. Yet later at the hospital, I found myself wishing I’d brought other things. are some items moms happy they’d oradvice wishedfrom “A Here new mother herself and a law were professor, Peery haspacked gathered they’d brought to the hospital: more than 80 new mothers in this slim volume to create an alternative to the textbook-like pregnancy titles. The 50 tips in this work touch on every· fuzzy socks · magazines thing from packing for the hospital to recovering from labor and discuss · breast pads · cameraincluding water birth, medicated various options, births, and C-sections. Each tip includes two or three stories from real moms that show the wide · nursing bra (if you’re · small mirror range of normal when it comes to childbirth and offer advice that readers breastfeeding) might not get elsewhere.” · baggy or stretchy pants · lip balm —Library Journal · nice clothes (one set for hospital photograph) “It provides advice on everything from what to take to the hospital during labor to· the cons of However, this book stands out cutepros babyand blanket & epidurals. hat due to its encouraging, nonjudgmental tone. Peery says up front that · favorite soap she’s no expert, but this fact makes her book all the more appealing. Readers· will feel from the get-go that she’s on their side, rooting for maternity nightgown them. Mostly, she quotes other women, who offer stories and advice about their own birth experiences. Pregnant readers who finish this book will likely feel more knowledgeable and more secure about what’s ahead. A solid, supportive advice book to help women through the physical and mental work of childbirth.” —Kirkus Reviews 22 POP | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH 23 “A woman can read a dozen pregnancy books before giving birth and still find herself lost once the process actually begins. What do contractions really feel like? How long do different stages of labor last? Do epidurals really work? How does one handle the pain without one? Pamela Peery didn’t realize how ill-prepared she was for giving birth until labor was upon her, and the experience inspired her to collect the advice and stories of others. The result is POP: 50 Real Tips From Real Moms On Childbirth. This slim volume is packed with quotes from more than eighty women regarding their own experiences with having a baby. No matter what questions you might have, whether you’re expecting your first or have already been through birth before, this book is sure to provide some inspiration. What should you bring to the hospital? Find ideas that might not be included on other lists. Curious about early labor? Get some ideas about what to expect. Read the thoughts of women who have had epidurals—they usually work, and you can still push even when you’re numb—as well as of women who have gone all natural— remember that your body is made to give birth. POP would make a great gift to any expectant mama.” —San Francisco Book Review “The perfect ‘must have’ for every expectant mom. Reading these honest and short tips from moms all over the world is a fantastic and easy way for women to prepare for childbirth.” —Christine Goldman, CD, CPD, CBE, LE. Certified birth doula, childbirth educator and owner of Doulas of Central New York “How come no one wrote this before? It seems so obvious, but there’s nothing else out there like this book.” —Joanne B., Bryn Mawr, PA “A tremendous book. Great for dads. Funny too.” “I wish this book had been around when I was pregnant. Easy to read and has lots of great advice.” —Susan R., Cherry Hill, NJ “This book is perfect for the women I work with. The other book everyone reads doesn’t cover the real things women encounter. This has some great tips, and I know my women will read it.” —Karen K., Crisis Pregnancy Center Philadelphia, PA “Easy to read. You can pick it up and put it down a 1000 times but I promise you will be running back to it again and again to get other little pieces of advice. Great book.” —Elizabeth E., Asheville, NC “Filled with stories and anecdotes, POP ‘delivers’ the scoop on both traditional and natural childbirth options in a clear, honest and supportive way. It should be on every baby shower gift list.” —Joyce S., Sag Harbor, NY “I LOVE this book! I wish a resource like this existed years ago when I had my two daughters. Having a concise, organized and detailed accounting of other mom’s experiences will give realistic expectations to expecting moms. As the due date gets closer, most women have varying degrees of fear and anxiousness. This book will help reduce these common feelings. Knowledge brings calm.” —Cathy Y., Jacksonville, FL “Both educational and entertaining, Pamela Peery ties together facts and real life experiences in an enjoyable way. I wish I’d had this book when I was pregnant.” —Gregory K., Philadelphia, PA —Kathleen D., San Clemente, CA “Great book. Wonderful and helpful tips from the real experts—real moms! A must-have for all expectant moms and dads. I can’t wait to be able to give my daughter this book when her time comes.” “Interesting, funny and informative. Points are made succinctly and clearly. A fun read.” —Joy C., Hingham, MA —Vance N., San Clemente, CA IN THIS BOOK 23 28 38 39 45 57 63 69 79 87 93 103 111 119 125 134 PACKING FOR HOSPITAL VAGINAL DELIVERY BIRTHPLAN CONTRACTION TIMING LOG JUMP-STARTING LABOR EARLY LABOR WATER BREAKING FAMILY & FRIENDS LABOR HOSPITAL EPIDURAL NATURAL CHILDBIRTH C-SECTION C-SECTION BIRTHPLAN BREASTFEEDING FUN STORIES LIST OF TIPS HOW TO TIME YOUR CONTRACTIONS Know the Terminology 2 ADVICE AND ENCOURAGEMENT— JUMP-STARTING LABOR NATURALLY IF YOU’RE PAST DUE Ok, so you’ve been pregnant a long time. Are you past 40 weeks and ready to have that baby now? Were you ready last year, it seems? Yes, girlfriend, first pregnancies often go past 40 weeks. Sorry. Length or Duration: The time between the start of a contraction and the end of the same contraction. Frequency or “How far apart are your contractions?”: The time between the start of one contraction and the start of the next contraction. Contraction-timing log: Duration How Far Apart Duration How Far Apart But there could be a glimmer of hope. Thankfully, some women have seemingly jump-started their labor by: · stimulating their nipples (with close monitoring by qualified medical professional and doctor’s approval) · having sex · using a breast pump (with close monitoring by qualified medical professional and doctor’s approval) · walking 38 POP | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH 39 3 ADVICE AND ENCOURAGEMENT— THE INITIAL STAGE OF LABOR Some of the most fundamental things first-time pregnant women want to know are: How will I know I’m in “real” labor? When I go into labor, what will it feel like? Will the contractions start slowly, or come on quickly? Like most first-time moms, I expected the onset of labor to be obvious. Contractions would be instantly recognizable—like you see in the movies, right? Maybe. The initial stage of labor (sometimes called “early labor”) can be subtle, come in spurts, last for days and surprise you in other ways. Labor and contractions are experienced differently by every woman—and the variations are numerous. Ask your doctor for a list of labor symptoms and call him or her immediately if they begin to occur. Here are some experiences of other women: · contractions may feel like sharp pains, cramps, or a tightening · they might be felt in your back, legs, hips or buttocks · they may stop and start · the hospital might send you home · early labor could last for days 44 POP | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH 45 TIP #8 REALIZE THAT CONTRACTIONS FEEL DIFFERENT TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE I have to say contractions were MUCH different than I’d imagined— a bit like Braxton Hicks and menstrual cramps mixed. —Althea For me, my entire abdomen got really tight and hard to the touch. There was discomfort, but not intense pain, for the first 12 hours, until they broke my water. —Traci I couldn’t believe how much they hurt. I had been told all along that it was like a period cramp. But these were nothing like my period cramps. They were much sharper than a period cramp, but in the same spot. —Sophia They felt like someone was tying my stomach in knots. —Maria What surprised me was that I felt most of the pain in the front of my legs. —Elizabeth I wish I had known that I would be feeling pain in my buttocks, rather than my front. —Lucy My contractions were basically a painful tightening of my lower back that would radiate across my abdomen. —Stephanie I could feel the pain mostly in my hips—it was as though I was the wishbone on Thanksgiving and someone had each of my legs and was pulling them apart as hard as they could. —Jasmine The contractions felt like menstrual cramps. —Peggy My contractions were whole belly—from top to bottom. Like some invisible hand was squeezing my belly. —Grace 46 POP | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH ADVICE AND ENCOURAGEMENT—THE INITIAL STAGE OF LABOR 47 TIP #9 DON’T BE SURPRISED IF CONTRACTIONS START & STOP, OR NEVER GET REGULAR When I first went into labor, I knew it was different from the Braxton Hicks contractions I’d felt. These were either weak labor contractions or painful Braxton Hicks. However, they were 30 minutes apart, so I didn’t worry. Over the next few days they became closer together and a little stronger, though not what I would consider painful. They stayed at 10 minutes apart for a few days. It was more annoying than anything else. September 14, they became five minutes apart, lasting 45–60 seconds and they SEEMED to be painful. Two days later, they were STILL five minutes apart and I hadn’t really progressed. My contractions had gotten uncomfortable and nearly as painful as the final ones— and they stayed that way. I stayed home and tried to wait for “real labor.” The next day, my contractions more or less stopped. I was looking forward to a good night’s sleep when around 6:00 p.m. my contractions started up again painfully. Finally around 9:00 p.m., the contractions were about 6–7 minutes apart. When I got to the birth house, the midwife examined me. I was 8 cm dilated. —Lisa As the evening wore on, the pain of my contractions began to overtake me. As a defense against this pain, I slipped into a dreamlike state. Lisa was 2 days overdue, so David and I decided to try some “natural” induction methods. At 8:30 p.m., about an hour later, I started to get mild contractions. I was a bit excited, but did not think anything was going on. They continued to come about 10 minutes apart for 2 hours or so. Even though I did not think it was “real” labor, we decided to pack our son’s bag and send him to his grandparent’s house for the night. Once I went to bed the contractions stopped completely. —Heather I felt very strange leaving the office, and I had a few contractions as I had earlier in the afternoon. I began timing them at 6:05, as they seemed to be getting closer together. I had another at 6:07 and they continued this way for the ENTIRE labor! This was very shocking to me, as I anticipated a delivery like I had learned about in childbirth class. You know—20 minutes apart for a few hours, 15 minutes and so on. I still thought I should go on a walk to get them on a more regular pattern. They would be 20 seconds long, then 30, back and forth. —Suzanne I fell into a deep slumber and awoke the next morning in a daze. It took me several moments to realize that my contractions had ceased. My labor must have stopped during the night. —Katya 48 POP | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH ADVICE AND ENCOURAGEMENT—THE INITIAL STAGE OF LABOR 49 Vaginal Vaginal Delivery Delivery Birthplan Birthplan My name: My name: My husband’s or partner’s name: My husband’s or partner’s name: My doctor’s name: My doctor’s name: My doula’s or birth assistant’s name: My doula’s or birth assistant’s name: MY DELIVERY IS PLANNED AS A MY DELIVERY IS PLANNED AS A vaginal delivery, with an epidural as requested vaginal delivery, with an epidural as requested natural vaginal delivery, with no epidural or other pain relief natural vaginal delivery, with no epidural or other pain relief C-section C-section water birth water birth VBAC VBAC other: other: I’D LIKE THESE PEOPLE PRESENT BEFORE AND I’D LIKE THESE PEOPLE PRESENT BEFORE AND DURING LABOR DURING LABOR husband or partner: husband or partner: parents: parents: children: children: doula or other birth assistant: doula or other birth assistant: these relatives and friends: these relatives and friends: I do not want these people present: I do not want these people present: I do not want students, residents or interns present I do not want students, residents or interns present 28 28 POP POP | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH if necessary, I want my labor to be induced by these means, in if necessary, I want my labor to be induced by these means, in order of preference: order of preference: allow the doctors and nurses to do whatever they deem necessary allow the doctors and nurses to do whatever they deem necessary DURING LABOR AND DELIVERY, I’D LIKE DURING LABOR AND DELIVERY, I’D LIKE to wear my own clothes as long as possible to wear my own clothes as long as possible to wear my contact lenses or eyeglasses as long as possible to wear my contact lenses or eyeglasses as long as possible my husband or partner to film and/or take pictures my husband or partner to film and/or take pictures no pictures or video taken by anyone no pictures or video taken by anyone my husband or partner alongside my upper body during my husband or partnerthe alongside my upper body during delivery, not watching baby emerging delivery, not watching the baby emerging to stay hydrated with clear liquids and ice chips to stay hydrated with clear liquids and ice chips to eat and drink food I bring, as approved by my doctor to eat and drink food I bring, as approved by my doctor I’M NOT INTERESTED IN I’M NOT INTERESTED IN having my pubic hair shaved having my pubic hair shaved an IV, unless necessary an IV, unless necessary a urinary catheter a urinary catheter an enema an enema 29 29 Possible baby names: 4 ADVICE AND ENCOURAGEMENT— WATER BREAKING Some women think a big splash is going to usher in the big day— with lots of wet gushing drama and someone yelling “grab a towel, here she goes!” Sorry to break it to you, girlfriend—but it’s probably not going to happen that way. Many women are not sure the fluid leaking from them is amniotic fluid. If it is your water breaking, it could flow slowly or quickly. Or your doctor might have to break it in the hospital—like mine did, after my epidural. Here is how water breaking often occurs: · it could feel like a pop · flow might be as light as a trickle · or as heavy as a gush · it often breaks during or after going to the bathroom · it might not break on its own 56 POP | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH 57 Baby gear we still need: 6 ADVICE AND ENCOURAGEMENT— HANDLING LABOR PAIN All women worry about the pain of labor. Even women bound for an epidural are anxious, since they are often not given until after women have been in labor for hours. It doesn’t help that pregnant women are often told different things. Books might instruct you to focus on your breathing, while your friend tells you to rock on a birthing ball. You don’t need a laundry list. You just need what works. The main thing that helped me was a hot shower. Different methods, however, work for different women. The following is an assortment of pain-relief recommendations from new moms: · don’t hold your breath · try a heated pad · ask that a nurse hold the fetal monitor on you (with doctor’s approval) · have someone massage your back · walk around · take a bath or shower (with doctor’s approval) · talk to the baby or rock in a rocking chair · try breathing exercises and focal points 68 POP | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH 69 TIP #26 A BATH OR SHOWER CAN HELP THE PAIN IF YOUR WATER HASN’T BROKEN (not overly hot and with doctor’s approval) I walked all night but did not progress, although my contractions were so hard and unbearable. I asked for my epidural but the nurse said my contractions had to be closer and harder, even though I didn’t think that was possible. She also told me to try the Jacuzzi, which was a lifesaver. It helped sooooo much and felt so good. To f inish nursery we still need to: —Viola I remember the only thing that helped was getting into the shower! —Elizabeth The hot water of the tub was heaven and really helped with the pain. —Brianna When I got to the hospital, the only thing that helped the pain of my contractions was a hot shower. I would first stand, and then when it really hurt I would sit on the seat in the shower and let the hot water run over me. —Penny 76 POP | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH 77 8 ADVICE AND ENCOURAGEMENT— EPIDURALS As the pregnancy progresses and the baby gets bigger and BIGGER and BIGGER—even the most laid-back woman will wonder how she’s going to get the baby out. Talk about a square peg through a round hole—that’s nothing compared to this. Little opening + big head equals oy vey. The answer for many women is an epidural. But how hard is it to get the needle in? Must it really be stuck in your spine, of all places? Does it always work? Relax—epidurals are safe and effective for most women. Here are some women’s experiences: · epidurals sometimes speed up or slow down dilation · don’t move while they put the needle in · you will still be expected to push · consider not getting an epidural if you want to be up and around quickly 86 POP | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH 87 How will we handle too many visitors? 10 ADVICE AND ENCOURAGEMENT— C-SECTIONS The rate of women having children via Caesarean section is at a record high. Because some of these C-sections weren’t planned but occurred due to unforeseen complications in a vaginal delivery, all women should prepare for the possibility of a C-section. I want your birthing experience to go smoothly. Every woman, therefore, should read this section. Here are things you can do to make your C-section more comfortable: · don’t worry—it goes smoothly for most women · consider using stool softeners beforehand (with your doctor’s permission) · bring a small blanket and music · expect to feel pressure, tugging or nothing at all · ask beforehand that your baby be brought to you quickly · move around as soon as your doctor will allow · consider using silicone strips, which could reduce scarring · blow bubbles into a cup of water if you have trouble urinating 102 POP | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH 103 ection Birthplan Birthplan CC ssection TIP #46 TIP #46 AFTERWARDS, YOU COULD HAVE AFTERWARDS, YOU COULD HAVE DELAYED MILK PRODUCTION DELAYED MILK PRODUCTION & PERIOD-LIKE BLEEDING & PERIOD-LIKE BLEEDING I’m super embarrassed to admit, I had no idea that I would be bleeding, I’m super embarrassed to admit, I had no idea that I would be bleeding, like I was having a period. I thought you only bled after having a like I was having a period. I thought you only bled after having a vaginal delivery and not a C-section. vaginal delivery and not a C-section. —Irene —Irene I thought I would bleed a lot more than I did. I was pleasantly surprised I thought I would bleed a lot more than I did. I was pleasantly surprised that my bleeding was much like a regular period by the second day. that my bleeding was much like a regular period by the second day. —Ruth —Ruth I wish I had known that with a C-section, your milk is late to come I wish I had known that with a C-section, your milk is late to come in. in. —Shannon —Shannon 110 110 POP | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH POP | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH DURING SURGERY, I'D LIKE DURING SURGERY, I'D LIKE my husband or partner to stay with me at all times, even in the my husband or partner to stay with me at all times, even in the case of general anesthesia. It's important that the baby's birth case of general anesthesia. It's important that the baby's birth be witnessed by him or her be witnessed by him or her to stay conscious, if possible to stay conscious, if possible to be modestly draped, if possible to be modestly draped, if possible the surgery explained as it happens, whenever possible the surgery explained as it happens, whenever possible to not have students or interns watching or participating to not have students or interns watching or participating (leave unchecked if you're in a teaching hospital) (leave unchecked if you're in a teaching hospital) to not have a catheter inserted until after I receive anesthesia to not have a catheter inserted until after I receive anesthesia to not have my arms tied down - I'd like my arms and hands free to not have my arms tied down - I'd like my arms and hands free warm blankets placed over me warm blankets placed over me to not receive sedatives or tranquilizers without my or my to not receive sedatives or tranquilizers without my or my husband's/partner's permission husband's/partner's permission to watch the entire procedure, if possible to watch the entire procedure, if possible to have the drape/screen lowered at time of birth to have the drape/screen lowered at time of birth to have a hand-held mirror to have a hand-held mirror my husband or partner to be given the option of cutting the my husband or partner to be given the option of cutting the umbilical cord umbilical cord my husband or partner to announce the baby's gender my husband or partner to announce the baby's gender the surgery explained as it happens the surgery explained as it happens my husband or partner and I to hold our baby as soon as possible my husband or partner and I to hold our baby as soon as possible to breastfeed in the recovery room as soon as possible to breastfeed in the recovery room as soon as possible whatever is routine and necessary whatever is routine and necessary 111 111 FUN REAL-LIFE STORIES Yes, there can be humor in childbirth. Sit. Enjoy a laugh or two. You deserve it. Chick-fil-A server exclaimed “Is she going to have that baby here?!” My mom and I walked that afternoon (we were enjoying the great May weather). I started having regular contractions around 6:00 p.m. My husband and I decided to go to the mall to see if the contractions were “real.” He needed new tennis shoes. At the beginning of the trip I wasn’t in much pain, but towards the end of the trip I was in a lot of pain. Bruce, my husband, wanted to get some dinner so we stopped at a Chick-fil-A. I didn’t want anything (which is weird because Chick-fil-A is my favorite!) and while he was ordering (at this time it was around 8:45) I had a major contraction. I leaned against the counter so I could breathe and the girl behind the counter said “Is she going to have that baby here?!” and I wanted to say “YES—I love Chick-fil-A SO much I want to have my first born in one!” —Grace “Sorry I’m so hairy!” As I was crowning, and Baby A (William) was right there, the nurse told me to feel his head. I did and it was really strange. I was then moved to an operating room to continue to deliver. It was crazy—I had to move from the birthing bed to the operating table with a head between my legs. As I was pushing William 124 POP | 50 TIPS ON CHILDBIRTH 125
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