dumadze IV tomi.indd

amaSi araferia gasakviri, saocari is aris, rom cota xnis Semdeg madlierebis werili miviRe tvardovskisagan, romelic zustad
igive sityvebiT msayvedurobda imis Taobaze, rom aseT simSvenieres
joxs vuwodeb.
kidev iciT, ra maxsovs: batoni konstantine da tvardovski gvian
Ramemde seirnobdnen zRvis napirze. literaturaze saubrobdnen.
me, ra Tqma unda, xmas ar viRebdi, magram yovel maT sityvas vylapavdi.
baton konstantines saqarTveloSi eTayvanebodnen ara marto mwerlebi, am siyvarulis mowmeebi Tqven da sania brZandebiT.
gaxsovT, Cemi manqaniT Tbilisidan gulrifSSi mimyavdiT? maSin
Cven rikoTis uReltexilze restoran `wevaSi~ gavCerdiT... roca
restornis direqtorma Seityo, rom mas aseTi sapativcemulo
stumari hyavs, fulis gamorTmeva ar undoda.
man madloba gadauxada baton konstantines misi wignebisaTvis,
me darwmunebuli var, rom mas wakiTxuli aqvs isini.
baton konstantineze usasrulod SeiZleba gaxseneba. me da mTeli Cemi Semoqmedeba did valSia masTan, magram axla me ar minda
borotad gamoviyeno Tqveni didsulovneba da moTmineba.
gmadlobT, rom momeciT saSualeba, gamexsenebina zogi ram baton konstantineze, Tundac umniSvnelo, magram iseTi adamianebis
cxovrebaSi, rogoric is iyo, umniSvnelo wuTebi ar arsebobs.
roca moskovSi Camovdiodi, igi mekiTxeboda:
_ rodis Camoxvedi, nodar?
_ guSin!
_ unda aRvniSnoT, Zvirfaso.
da mec `vcxaddebodi~, movdiodi TqvenTan stumrad da mas Tavisi stumarTmoyvareobiT SeeZlo daeCrdila nebismieri qarTvelis
stumarTmoyvareoba da Tu nebas momcemT, me yovelTvis `gamovcxaddebi~, rameTu man dedamiwaze datova saqarTvelos siyvarulis
uzarmazari koconi da gvianderZa, rom yovelma CvenTaganma zogjer
SeSa unda SevukeToT am kocons, raTa igi ar daiferflos ukuniTi
ukunisamde.
uRrmesi pativiscemiT
n. dumbaZe
31. 3. 80 Tbilisi.
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sufTa qviSa
erTxel Cvens ezoSi Cxubi moxda. axalgazrdebi Cxubobdnen,
erT-erTi maTgani Cems sadarbazoSi cxovrobda. yvirilze misi
Zmac CemsaviT aivanze gamovida da wuTiTac ar dafiqrebula,
kibeze daeSva, misaxmareblad gavarda... cota xnis mere moCxubrebi gaaSveles. jer kidev aRelvebuli Zmebi nela amodiodnen kibeze. maSin ufros Zmas vuTxari: `gagego mainc, raSi iyo
saqme, vin mtyuani iyo da vin _ marTali...~ `sad mqonda magisi
dro, _ mipasuxa, _ roca Zma Sav dReSia, laparaki ki ara, daxmarebaa saWiro~.
ra Tqma unda, Taviseburi magaliTia, magram es naTesaobis
grZnoba, Cemi azriT, adamianis Sinagani sindisiT aris nasazrdoebi, sindisi ki xSirad aseT moulodnel, gauTvaliswineblad mravalgvar formebSi mJRavndeba. mere, roca yvelaferSi
gaerkva, ufrosi Zma, cxadia, Wkuas aswavlida umcross, magram
gansacdelisas is uyoymanod daicva.
sindisi, Rirseba, ra ucnauri cnebebia? amboben, cxovelebs
sindisi ar aqvTo. me ki mgonia, araa ase. yovel suldgmuls aqvs
sindisi. qarTvelebi amboben: `kargi cxeni maTraxs ar dairtyamso~.
da mainc, Tumca iqneb sakuTar Tavsac vewinaaRmdegebode,
vityvi: adamianis sindisis gaRviveba da aRzrda SesaZlebelia.
ai, Cemi SviliSvili, magaliTad, SeiZleba mgavdes saxiT, moZraobiT, emociebiT, magram saqcieliT is me ar memgvaneba, Tu
mas ar aRvzrdi, anda, rac arsebiTad igivea, Cems xsovnas ar davutoveb. albaT swored sulis aRzrdis saxeliT vlaparakobT
Cven dRes zneobaze, mamaTagan miRebul sulier memkvidreobaze,
romelic Svilebs, STamomavlebs gvinda gadavceT.
adamianis guli, misi suli bunebis yvelaze srulyofili qmnilebaa. da tyuilad ar amtkicebs Cemi romanis _ `maradisobis
kanonis~ gmiri baCana ramiSvili: `...adamianis suli gacilebiT
ufro mZimea, vidre sxeuli, imdenad mZime, rom erT adamians
misi tareba ar SeuZlia. amitom vidre cocxlebi varT, erTmaneTs xeli unda SevaSveloT da vecadoT, rogorme ukvdavvyoT
erTmaneTis suli; Tqven Cemi, me sxvisi, sxvam sxvisi da ase dausabamod, rameTu im sxvisi gardacvalebis Semdeg ar davobldeT
da martoni ar davrCeT am qveyanaze...~
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adamianSi Zlieria TviTgadarCenis Tandayolili instinqti,
da xSirad moraluri arCevanis winaSe mdgari, is am instinqtis
morCilia, aba, dafiqrdiT, ra xSirad vcdilobT, gavamarTloT
Cven iseTi saqcieli, rogorsac sxvas arasodes ar vapatiebdiT;
ra xSirad vafarebT Tavs sanaxevro simarTlis buruss, maSin,
roca dauyovnebliv vamxeldiT sxvis tyuils...
cxovrebis WeSmariteba ki, Cans, isaa, rom ar miutevo sakuTar Tavs da miutevo moyvass, iswavlo adamianis siyvaruli,
cxovrobde adamianebs Soris da cxovrobde adamianebisaTvis.
rogor minda, rom yovelive keTili, mSvenieri ar gaqres,
ar warixocos adamianis mexsierebidan, rogorc qviSaSi wyali!
vinaidan aucilebelia momavali, kargi adamianis aRsazrdelad. da vTqvaT, ramdenad ufro mdidari iqneboda Cveni xalxi,
qarTuli arqiteqturis iseT diad qmnilebaTa avtorebi rom
icodes, rogoricaa nikorwminda, jvari! vis SeuZlia gviTxras,
ratom ar dagvitoves am ostatebma TavianTi saxelebi? SesaZloa imitom, rom fiqrobdnen: sindisi guluxvoba ar aris,
saqveynod gamoaCino... da ratomaa cnobili imave epoqis sxva,
naklebad Rirebuli nawarmoebebis SemqmnelTa saxelebi?
keTili saqmis keTeba kacisaTvis sulieri moTxovnilebaa.
aq igi gamorCenas ar moelis, xolo Tu mainc moelis, ese igi,
farisevlobs _ sakuTari Tavis winaSe, adamianebis winaSe. ai,
magaliTad, niWier msaxiobs an mwerals uyvars aplodismentebi,
pativi, uxaria, rom mis Semoqmedebas afaseben, magram is marto
warmatebisTvis rodi `iklavs Tavs~ _ sindisi ar aZlevs nebas uaresad iTamaSos, uaresad weros. da Cveni valia, Rirsebisamebr mivagoT maT. gavufrTxildeT xsovnas.
sindisi gmirobasa hgavs. magram gmirad me imas ar vTvli,
visac arafrisa ar eSinia da baqibuqobs. gaxsovT, jer kidev
maiakovski ambobda, vinc mudam gamWvirvalea, is ubralod briyvia. gmirobad SenTvis da Seni xalxisaTvis aucilebeli saqmis
aRsasruleblad SiSis daTrgunva mimaCnia, dae, iyos es Zneli
da araviTari piraduli sargebloba ar hqondes, magram sindisi
gvkarnaxobs, swored ase moiqce da ara sxvanairad.
axla sxva vTqvaT. yvelam viciT, rom dakisrebuli saqme mTeli pasuxismgeblobiT unda Sesruldes. es Cemi cxovrebis normaa. magram Tu viRacis upasuxismgeblobis gamo droulad ver
aiRes mosavali, ver aaSenes sacxovrebeli saxli, ver gaiyvanes
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magistrali?.. am SemTxvevaSi, me mgoni, unda vilaparakoT ara
mxolod aguris, aramed sindisis ukmarisobazec.
arsebobs sazogadoebrivi yofis garkveuli normebi, romlebsac TiToeuli CvenTagani iTvaliswinebs. magram, garda
amisa, TiToeuls unda gvqondes Cveni qmedebis mudmivad warmmarTavi, sakuTari, Sinagani disciplinac.
ai, swored es Sinagani disciplinaa, Cemi azriT, sindisi da
upirveles yovlisa, amas unda mivaqcioT yuradReba axalgazrda Taobis aRzrdisas.
Taobebi erTmaneTs cvlian, magram sanam cocxlebi varT,
aucileblad unda SevumuSavoT adamianebs Sinagani disciplina,
Torem TviT es cneba axalgazrdobas amorfuli moeCveneba. da
maSin axalgazrda adamianebi SeiZleba kalapotidan amovardnen, napirebi gadmolaxon. ki, mdinaris adideba vertmfrenidan
kargi sanaxavia, magram miwaze es tragediaa, wylis nakads Tan
miaqvs xeebi, saxlebi, ixoceba xalxi...
`kalapotSi yofna~ niSnavs sanTeliviT iwvode adamianebisaTvis, sruli SegnebiT ibrZode sakuTari idealebisaTvis.
cxovreba rTulia da rac ar unda virwmunebdeT Tavs, rom
SeiZleba yvelafers ufro iolad, martivad moekido, amaod
Cagvivlis cda. metismetad bevr sakiTxs wamoWris dro, metismetad sariskoa am sakiTxebisaTvis wayrueba. da me ver warmomidgenia Cemi Tanamedrove, sabWoTa adamiani ukeTuri, gulgrili. amitom yovel Cems gmirSi, upirvelesad, am `RvTaebriv
naperwkals~ veZeb _ mgrZnobiarobas, tkivils usamarTlobis,
sicruis mimarT. me maRelvebs pirovnebis Camoyalibebis, aRzrdis problema, da yvela Cemi gmiri, rogorc wesi, im asakisaa,
roca adamians erT mxarze angelozi uzis, meoreze _ eSmaki. vin
gaimarjvebs, romels miendoba igi?..
mravali wlis win Jurnal `druJba narodovis~ redaqciaSi
mivitane `me vxedav mzis~ xelnaweri. nawarmoebSi erTi aseTi
epizodia: gogo da biWi, xatia da sosoia mezobel sofelSi
tansacmlis purze gadasacvlelad midian. omis mZime, mSieri
wlebia. yvelas uWirs. da glexkaci, babilo, romelic bavSvebs
Rames TavisTan gaaTevinebs, diliT ufasod aZlevs maT mTel
tomara purs. redaqtori qali iyo, man xelnaweri waikiTxa
da miTxra: `nodar vladimeroviC, vin dagijerebT, rom glexma ase muqTad gasca puri?~ maxsovs, kiTxvam Semacbuna: msgavs
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problemaze ar mifiqria, me vicodi, rom adamianuri sindisis
karnaxiT babilos unda gaeyo lukma bavSvebisaTvis, bolos da
bolos, me mindoda, rom is ase moqceuliyo da amitom davwere
es epizodi. redaqtors vupasuxe: `ar vici, iqneb arc damijeron... magram Tu erTi kaci mainc damijerebs, es saocrad kargi
iqneba~. moTxroba daibeWda. bevri werili miviRe da urwmuno
arc erTis avtori ar aRmoCnda.
mkiTxveli nemcovi nawyenia, radgan megobrebma mas gasaWirSi
zurgi Seaqcies. is ambobs, rom adamianebze guli gautyda. me
mesmis es situacia. CemTvisac bevrs Semouqcevia zurgi, naTesavebsac ki, iyo aseTi wlebi. Tumca mere is xalxi gons movida... magram sxvebic iyvnen, nacnobebi Tu ucnobebi, vinc damexmara, me samudamod valSi var maT winaSe, ara imitom, rom
isini TavianT lukmas miyofdnen da, xatovnad rom vTqvaT, SimSiliT sikvdilisagan micavdnen, aramed imitom, rom maT adamianuri sikeTis, patiosnebis, uangarobis rwmena SeminarCunes.
warmoidgineT, TiToeul maTgans rom eangariSa da davTarSi
Caewera, nodar dumbaZes miveci amdeni da amdeni puri, amdeni
marili... me albaT ver gavizrdebodi.
dResac adamianebs Soris, adamianebTan vcxovrob, miyvars
isini da rac ki ram aris CemSi, rogorc kacsa da moqalaqeSi,
maT mier, Cemi Tanamemamuleebis mieraa Canergili.
sindisi garkveulwilad zneobaa. magram meeWveba, amaSi
davajero mesame werilis avtori i. simonovskaia, ramdenadac
igi ver arCevs iseT kategoriebs, rogoricaa sindisi, Rirseba.
unda gamovtyde, rom cxovrebisadmi Cemeburi damokidebuleba maqvs, ar miyvars, ar mWirdeba komforti, Cemi ojaxic
ubraloebas mivaCvie, mimaCnia, rom cxovrebis mizani materialuri keTildReoba ar aris, is mxolod saSualebaa, formaa
misi. magram, amave dros, es ar niSnavs imas, rom me almacerad
vuyureb adamianebs, visTvisac nivTebs didi mniSvneloba aqvs.
mraval SesaniSnav adamians vicnob, romelTac, nivTebis siyvarulis gamo niWi, sikeTe, samarTlianoba ar akldebaT. saqme isaa,
rom maT kargad ician: nivTebi arsebobs CvenTvis da ara Cven
nivTebisaTvis, magram Tu nivTebis siyvaruli fetiSizmad, spekulaciad gadagvardeba, Tu kaci yvelafers kisrulobs, raTa
jinsis Sarvali da Zvirfasi qurqi iyidos, an udardelad gaataros dro zRvispiras, zneobaze laparakic zedmetia. SeiZleba
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Semomedavon, rom cxovrebis biologiuri moZraoba zneobaze,
sindisze araa damokidebuli, rom mas Tavisi kanonebi aqvs da
sicocxlis procesi SeuCerebelia, amdenad ki, Cveni msjelobac
fuWia... diax, asea, magram kacobriobis cxovreba mudmiv koreqtirebas saWiroebs. unamuso adamianebis mospoba ar SeiZleba.
gaixseneT biblia, literaturuli TvalsazrisiT is kacobriobis istoriaa. hoda, roca sodomisa da gomoris mcxovreblebma
zneobrivi saxe dakarges, RmerTebma gaanadgures es qalaqebi.
adamianebi ki zeciT movlenili cecxliT daanacres... kacobriobis ganviTarebas meored noes kidobanSi daedo saTave. noe,
safiqrebelia, wesieri kaci iyo, magram TviT RmerTmac ver
Seatyo mis erT-erT vaJs, qams, ukeTureba...
da kvlav minda xazgasmiT vTqva: adamianSi sindisi SeiZleba
gaRvivdes. me yuradRebiT vukvirdebi adamianebs, veZeb maTSi
sinaTles, simarTles, rac Semdgom Cemi gmirebis dvritad iqceva. darwmunebuli var, aseTi adamianebis gareSe kacobrioba
aqamde ver moaRwevda, xolo Tu moaRwevda, ramdenime `sodomi
da gomori~ iqneboda saWiro.
modidebuli wyali ar SeiZleba ar aimRvres. magram dro gadis, yvelaferi Tavis adgils ubrundeba, wyali iwmindeba da
gamWvirvale Cndeba is sufTa qviSa, romelzec xalxi brZnulad
ambobs: `wyalni wavlen da wamovlen, qviSani darCebiano...~ da
marTali iyo didi poeti daviT guramiSvili, roca ambobda:
`bedi mas hqvian, vinc rom ar mokvda, suliT cxondao~.
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