Page 23 - El Paso Scene

The goofy,
the bad
& the weird
El Paso Scene’s 8th annual
Gecko Awards honor 2014’s
strangest, dumbest and most
outrageous news items
Graphic design by Marcos Ochoa
By Lisa Kay Tate
t’s time again for El Paso Scene to issue
our annual Gecko Awards, an “honor
roll” of those who made the best of bad
judgment, acted on their not-so-best
behavior, shined the community’s spotlight
on the less-than-best places, or were just in
the wrong place a the wrong time.
Who made the listing this year? Top honors go to the less-than-clean bill of health
in this year’s local medical community
news. The primary incidents that were in
need of some “Geckocare” included:
• Providence Memorial Hospital was the
focus of a mass tuberculosis investigation.
Not only was this a scary because about
860 babies born at the hospital may have
received possible exposure to the disease
from an infected worker, but this incident
put them in danger of losing funding from
the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid
Services. Three babies tested positive on
their TB tests, but fortunately showed no
symptoms of the disease. Although the
hospital escaped what could have been a
tragic situation, it still made for a stressful
time for several area families.
• Not to worry, though, because even
despite the TB scare, City Council
announced that the medical community
was more than ready to handle any Ebola
virus outbreak.
• University Medical Center CEO Jim
Valenti apologized for sending an email to
a county commissioner stating that there
would be no bonuses this year for him or
his staff. In fact, he got a $120,000 bonus
and other UMC executives got bonuses
totaling $180,000. Oops, he explained, he
meant the fiscal year, not the calendar year.
That didn’t do much to quell the controversy over the bonuses, which came during a
time when UMC had to lay off more than
50 workers.
• El Paso’s Veterans Affairs Health Care
was ranked among the worst in the nation
in January out of 128 healthcare systems
reviewed by the Office of the Inspector
General. El Paso ranked 123rd in patient
care wait times, 118th in mental health and
I
January 2015
94th in RN turnover. The wait for veterans
in El Paso was estimated to be 60 to 90
days, longer than all but three VA hospitals
in the nation.
• A New Mexico woman settled a $1.1
million lawsuit against two doctors and an
El Paso hospital because she had to undergo two separate body cavity checks in a
failed search for drugs after being stopped
by U.S. customs agents.
• El Paso Children’s Hospital and UMC
Foundation backed out of fundraising
dance party in December when it was discovered the event’s headlining star, DJ
Jessie Andrews, had a second job. As a
porn star.
Runner up is El Paso City Council for the
very mature game of musical chairs, and
demonstrating one is never too old to
worry about who has cooties. City Rep.
Ann Morgan Lilly said she no longer
wanted to sit next to City Rep. Lilly
Limón because she was distracted by comments “Limón keeps making under her
breath during the meetings.” Similar conflicts occurred between Limón and City
Rep. Courtney Niland, which would eventually lead to Niland and Lilly sitting at
opposite ends from Limón for the entire
duration of the council’s meetings. The
game of musical chairs was said to cost the
city more than $6,800 for a new computer,
desk reconfiguration and other equipment.
The bickering wasn’t just limited to the
council, as State Rep. Lydia Ness-Garcia
sent a strongly worded letter to State Rep.
Marisa Marquez, of whom she said made
“vicious attacks” on her family and character over past financial shortfalls in a former campaign. Ness-Garcia also claimed
she was assaulted by two unknown
assailants at her home, an incident
Marquez was quick to say had nothing to
do her.
Even more election year fun between
candidates took place when Justice of the
Peace candidate Rosalie Dominguez, who
lost the Democratic primary election, filed
suit against her opponent Enedina “Nina”
Serna alleging voter fraud and tampering.
That’s not all, of course. Here’s the rest of
the best of the weirdest for 2014:
Going four rounds with Mr. Suds
El Paso boxer Antonio Escalante, the
one-time No. 1-ranked junior featherweight in the world, was arrested four
times in 2014, on suspicion of driving
while intoxicated, one of which caused a
much-publicized boxing match scheduled
at the Don Haskins Center to be postponed. After pleading guilty to two of
three DWI counts before the final incident,
Escalante and apologized said he does not
have a drinking problem and “I’m an athlete, I don’t touch the alcohol, any of that.
That’s not me.”
El Paso Scene
Is it kosher?
Three Hasidic Jews preparing for a
Hawaiian getaway from Brooklyn are facing drug raps for trying to score 50 pounds
of marijuana from an undercover FBI
agent posing as a Texas drug dealer. The
agent told the trio that the crop, which one
of them insisted be referred to as “alfalfa”
and “vegetables,” was located in El Paso,
and needed to be trucked to Brooklyn.
What happens when you breed a
bear with a fox?
The El Paso Independent School District
inadvertently caused a stir when it accidently sent notes from a brainstorming session to the media that mentioned closing
Bowie High School and consolidating it
with Jefferson High School.
‘Cheapo’s Tacos’?
Elementary school parents protested after
learning of a new item on the official
Socorro ISD school menu: a hot dog
wiener served in a crispy taco shell. SISD
officials said the item met nutritional
requirements, but after the complaints,
agreed to scrap the “taco dog” from future
menus.
All the pretty aliens
The ex-wife of former El Paso author
Cormac McCarthy was charged with
assaulting her boyfriend, when they got
into an argument about space aliens.
The 2014 “We’re No. 1!” award
The National Insurance Crime Bureau
named El Paso as having the highest number of unrecovered stolen pickups out of
the top 10 regions in the United States.
Were allso Numbur For
Time Magazine, in a February story
based on a Central Connecticut State
University report, listed El Paso as the
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